


Destruction of Property

by 0Zerotolerence



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, Self-Harm, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:21:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7762972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0Zerotolerence/pseuds/0Zerotolerence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis loves to dance, especially when it's in the rain. Little does she know, Peridot loves for Lapis to dance as well. (Trigger Warning. Human AU, college life. Rated Mature for language and sexual themes.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rain and Pain

It was rainy that night at Diamond University. It was almost a miracle, seeing as how it's been so utterly dry those past few weeks. Everyone who lived on campus were happy for a reason to stay inside, even happier when they had heard that this was announced as a "teacher work day". Everyone knew that the instructors were just as happy for the rain as the students were.

The only exception to not confide herself in her room was a girl of below average height. She wasn't short, but she wasn't tall either. The girl danced in the rain, her arms acting on their own as the water fell on her lithe body. The droplets of rain seemed to bounce off of her short, silken dress. Her bare feet splashed in tiny puddles as she stepped to the melody in her head, her hair weaving to and fro with her movements, water being flung from her blue locks.

This was the best feeling in the world to Lapis Lazuli. Ever since her parents taught her to swim, she knew that water was her sanctuary. She felt happiest under the shower of the skies, but also a deep sadness as well. It was hard for her to explain to anyone how she felt during these times.. In simplest terms, she felt that when the clouds began to cry, something horrible happened to the world. But in those tears, she believed stemmed happiness, for how can someone be sad without knowing how to be happy?

This rain is what made her feel most alive.

Lapis suddenly stopped her movements. Her eyes shot up to the windows of the dorm she lived in. The girl couldn't see quite that clearly through the water in the sky, but she could have sworn that she saw something.. someone watching her. But the windows were all dark except for one or two rooms. In one room, she knew a party was going on, so it couldn't have been anyone from there. Her best friend was most likely in the other room, but she was probably working on the homework for next week.. the nerd liked to stay ahead. Maybe it was a trick of the rain..

Lapis decided that she was done dancing for the night. Taking one last look up at the black sky riddled with water, she made her way back inside to her dorm.

* * *

_She's so beautiful.._ Peridot thought as she watched her best friend dance in the rain. She found Lapis' symbolism for the rain to be quite beautiful as well.

But.. why was she being so secretive about this? She had her back to the wall next to her dorm window, peeking just from the side so that Lapis wouldn't notice her.. but why? They were the best of friends. Peridot knew that if Lapis happened to see her, it wouldn't mean anything. She would probably just smile and wave, continuing her dance. So why was Peridot hiding..?

She knew the answer to that question. Peridot was in love with her best friend.. why did this have to happen to her? The girl dressed in a green tee-shirt and black shorts hated this about herself. It had to be Lapis, it just _**had**_ to! Why?! Why did it have to be her?!

Peridot pulled away from the window when Lapis stopped dancing. Did she see? No.. it was impossible. Not through this rain.. Clutching at her chest, Peridot found that it became quite difficult to breathe. Why was this happening..?

She needed a release, she needed to do something! She had to tear her thoughts away from Lapis, she had to get away from her emotions! Peridot ran to the bathroom, tears streaming down her face. It's been so long since she did this.. so long since she had to remind herself that feelings were meaningless.

She opens her medicine cabinet, sifting through the clutter of different medications she has to take. An inhaler for her asthma, band-aids, acne medication, her contact solution, eye drops, night time pills to help her sleep.. then a razor blade.

Peridot has been known to harm herself in the past. She had even visited a help group in an attempt to kick her habit, and it helped.. well, just a little. The only people that knew about her past injuries were her mother.. and Lapis. She couldn't let her crush know that she was doing this tonight. Not after such a long time of being clean.

The blonde sat on the edge of her bathtub, her breath heavy as she stared at the blade held between her fingers. Just a scratch.. she just needed a scratch.

Slowly, Peridot brought the blade to her left wrist. Her breath hitched when the cold metal sliced through her pale skin. Sliding the blade across her wrist, Peridot watched in wonder as the blood slowly escaped her. It gave her comfort.. a comfort that told her that everything would be okay, that there was a way out if everything in the world grew to be too much. She cut again.. and again. Each mark was barely noticeable, passing over one another. When she wiped the blood away with a wet cloth, she couldn't even tell that there was a cut to begin with, until they scabbed over, at least. Peridot felt elated.

This pain is what made her feel most alive.

Peridot was suddenly brought back to the real world when she heard Lapis' voice.

"Peri? You in here?" Lapis was surprised that her friend wasn't in her dorm. She never leaves her dorm except for classes, and especially not in the middle of the night.

Peridot nearly panicked again. Why did Lapis have to visit her at this time?! The blonde desperately looked around the room, and her eyes fell on her green hooded sweatshirt that was in a lump on the bathroom floor. She had forgotten to wash it, but she was thankful for that, now.

She first went back to her medicine cabinet, shoving the blade behind everything else after washing the blood off of it, along with the blood on her wrists and rag. Peridot grabbed the box of band-aids, pulling out a patch meant for large wounds. Fumbling with the wrapper, she dropped the box. Though it was light, it still made some noise on the bathroom tile.

Lapis didn't fail to hear the sound and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Peridot?"

The girl in green answered as she picked up the box, placing it back in the medicine cabinet after she had finally placed the band-aid on her wrist. "I-I'm fine! I'm just.. not feeling good.. sudden change in weather and all that. I'll be out in a sec."

The girl in blue was worried for her friend, but decided to let it go. She had to trust Peridot.. hopefully, she would feel better soon.

Peridot dressed herself in her hoodie, making sure that the sleeves covered her wrists. She flushed the toilet, not needing to, but she wanted to use the noise as an excuse. She would pretend to have thrown up earlier, before Lapis entered her room.. yeah, that was it.

Peridot opened the bathroom door, putting on a rather sick look. She wanted to be convincing.

"Hey Lapis.. why are you wet?" Peridot already knew though.

Lapis ran a hand through her dyed blue hair, watching stray water drip onto the carpet.

"I was outside.. you know how much I love dancing in the rain."

"Yeah.. yeah, I forgot." _No I didn't._

"Anyway.. you look awful. You really are sick, aren't you?" Lapis put the back of her hand to Peridot's cheek, checking her temperature. Thankfully, the blonde's embarrassment, along with her little panic attack, caused her body to be more heated than normal. "You're burning up.."

Peridot averted her eyes, stepping passed Lapis to sit on her bed. "Yeah.."

Lapis moved to the mini fridge that was on Peridot's desk. Every dorm room had one. She grabbed a bottle of water and returned to Peridot's side on the bed.

"Here.. drink as much as you can handle." Peridot took the bottle being handed to her. Slowly, and feeling pressured under Lapis' gaze, she brought the bottle to her lips and drank. After two gulps, she handed the drink back to her friend, whispering a small 'thanks'.

"No problem.. I told you water would come in handy. Seriously, you need to stop drinking all that Mountain Dew.."

Peridot smirked, lightly elbowing her friend in the side. "In your dreams." The two laughed together, Peridot staying at a light chuckle to keep up the appearance of being sick.

Lapis sighed, standing from the bed. "Well.. I'll let you get some rest now. Knowing you, you probably already did some school work for next week, right?"

"You know it. You can never be too prepared."

"No, you can't.." Lapis walked out of the room. Peridot stood up, following her friend to the door.

"Goodnight, Lapis.. and thanks again." Lapis turned, smiling. "G'night Peri.. hope you feel better soon."

With those words, she walked down the hall toward her own room. Peridot sighed, closing her door. She removed her hoodie, climbing back into her bed. _I'm too smart for all this shit.._ She thought as she closed her eyes, laying on her stomach. At least they weren't roommates.. That would make hiding her actions much, much harder.

On the verge of entering the realm of dreams that Peridot loved so much, a sudden thought forced her to lift her body from the bed with a start. She forgot.. she and Lapis had requested that they become roommates last week.


	2. Moving In

"I'm glad that Mrs. Quartz approved our request.." Lapis said to her friend as she set down her last box on Peridot's bed. She didn't have many things, just a few clothes and bathroom necessities. Peridot was the one with the game system and special desktop setup. She was such a nerd.

"Yeah.. me too." The blonde girl was hanging the clothes that Lapis had already unpacked. She had so many dresses. If Peridot didn't already hang up a blue tee shirt and a pair of black pants, she would have thought that a dress was all that her crush wore.

Peridot was actually happy that she would be rooming with Lapis, but she was terrified too. So many possible scenarios played through the blonde's mind where Lapis found her new scars. She couldn't let her know.. She's lucky that the rain from yesterday made the weather a bit more chilly. This gave Peridot an excuse to wear her hoodie, as well as hide her scars.

"Alrighty.." Lapis pulled out the contents from the last box. It was the lightest of her luggage, just consisting of a couple pairs of shoes. Sneakers and ballet shoes, the sneakers to obviously go with her casual wear, and the ballet shoes for.. well, for her dress. Of course, she preferred to go barefoot.

"It still amazes me that you aren't obsessive with your clothes. Most girls who are in the performance arts can't think of anything else but that and dancing."

"I'm not like most girls." Lapis replied, hands on her hips. Peridot couldn't help but smile.

"No you're not.. you're even worse."

The blue haired girl laughed and placed her shoes under the twin bed that was opposite from Peridot's. Each dorm had two beds, so there was no need to bring Lapis' bed from her room. It was odd, if you'd think about it. The girls each had a dorm to themselves, but what could possibly be the reason for them to have such luxury? Well, that reason remains to be seen.

Peridot sat on her bed, glad to be done with the unpacking. Even if it wasn't much, she absolutely hated physical labor.

"I'm glad that she also gave us a day off to get you moved in, but.. what about your school work?"

Lapis scoffed, sitting across from Peridot with an expression of false offense. "Peridot, please. Just because you're the smartest girl here doesn't mean you're the only smart girl in the school."

A small blush played across the blonde's face, a little ashamed of her words. Of course, she was worried about the other girl, but she didn't mean to come off as rude.

"I'm sorry.." She obviously didn't get the joke. Giggling, Lapis stood from her bed and sat beside her friend, lightly pushing her with her shoulder.

"Peri, you know I'm messing with you. But really, my grades are perfectly fine. It's pretty easy to just go with the flow of what I'm looking at on paper."

"Like water?" Peridot referenced, grinning. Lapis nodded.

"Yeah, like water.. And you're like a super-computer."

"Whatever.."

Just then, the door to Peridot's room is burst open, and a short, plump, and rather loud woman comes through the doorway with a few beer cans loaded in her arms.

"What up, bitches?!" Peridot lets out a groan of annoyance while Lapis smiles and greets the intruder.

"Hey Amethyst, what's up?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The rambunctious girl sits herself on Lapis' bed, laying down her beer cans. She grabs two and holds them out for Lapis and Peridot to take. "We're celebrating your new room arrangement!"

Peridot groaned again, not bothering to hide how annoyed she was. Amethyst was just far too loud for her liking.

"Thanks, but you know I don't drink.." Lapis politely declined the offer, but Amethyst would have nothing of it.

"Come on, it's a special occasion!" Amethyst grinned at Lapis before she continued. "Besides, I thought you'd be happy. You know, since you li-"

"Well, maybe one won't hurt!"

Lapis snatched the beer from Amethyst's hand, her blush light, but very prominent. Peridot was too busy tuning out Amethyst's voice to notice Lapis' embarrassment. What she did notice, though, was that her friend had cracked open the beer and began to drink its contents. Great, now Peridot was going to be teased by the normally loud Amethyst, and her soon to be drunk crush. She's almost glad that she turned to the razor again.. almost.

"C'mon, Peri." Amethyst insisted, holding the beer out for the blonde. After Lapis drank a few mouthfuls of her own drink, she sat back with a sigh, a goofy smile on her face. She was only a little tipsy.. but it still felt kinda good. Seeing her crush in such a state, Peridot sighed, taking the can from Amethyst.

"Only for today."

"Yeah, let's fuck shit up!"

Peridot popped the can open with a sigh. "I already regret this." Slowly, she brought the can to her lips, taking a sip of the bitter substance. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad, but she didn't want to give the satisfaction to shorter girl. She drank silently while Lapis and Amethyst engaged in conversation.

"I'm surprised you don't have a cold, Lazuli. Didn't you go out in the rain, yesterday?"

"That was you watching me?" Lapis asked. Peridot made a mental note to thank Amethyst later, without giving her the reason for such thanks, of course.

"I just saw you out the window at the party I was at last night. Man, you'd be surprised, but Pearl can drink!"

"No way!" Lapis laughed harder than she would have if she were sober. Still, she wasn't near wasted, not after a little more than half a can of beer.

"Yeah way! Crazy bitch nearly drank the whole keg we had! 'Course I had to get her drunk first to begin with." Amethyst remembered cheering on the taller girl. "I had to rub her back while she puked afterward, but damn, did she turn me on." Peridot nearly choked on her beer while Lapis just laughed.

"I forgot you guys were together. It's still kinda hard to believe."

"I know, right?" Amethyst was cracking open her second beer, barely phased from the alcohol. "I mean, I was the one to ask her out, but still. It was an emotional roller-coaster before I actually nutted up and told her. When she said she liked me too, you could imagine how surprised I was. Pearl and Amethyst, queens of ballet and garbage. No offense, girl."

Lapis didn't feel a bit of jealousy at Pearl's title. "It's fine. I dance for fun, not competition."

Peridot smiled for the first time since Amethyst let herself in. That's one of the reasons she loved Lapis. No matter the situation, she was always so laid back. She didn't let anything contain her, didn't let anything stop her from having fun. She was a free spirit.

"Beer's kicking in for you, huh?" Amethyst asked, and though Peridot was still annoyed with the rambunctious girl, she still kept her smile. Maybe the alcohol was getting to her..

"I guess so.." She said quietly, taking another sip of her drink. Lapis wrapped an arm around her friend, laughing.

"Yeah, Peri, live it up! It's not so bad to let loose once in a while, right?" Peridot's blush made the blue haired girl laugh even more. She really loved that she was finally roommates with her best friend.

Amethyst was finally starting to feel the effects of the drink herself. Emptying her second can in a final gulp, she cracked open a third, deciding to just sip on this one. She knew her limits. After two, she started feeling tipsy, five was where she started losing sense of right and wrong, and seven.. she couldn't remember what happened after that.

"You'll thank me later." Amethyst said with sincerity, earning a shy shrug from the nerdy girl. Maybe she would thank Amethyst. She was certainly feeling good so far.

"Anyway.." Amethyst continued her story on what happened at the party. "After Pearl practically puked her guts out, I carried her to bed. Shame she was out of her mind drunk. I would have loved to wreck her."

"Well I'm glad you didn't take advantage of her." Peridot engaged in the conversation for the first time. "Drunk doesn't mean "yes"." Amethyst felt a little shift in the atmosphere, so she tried to lighten the mood again.

"Yeah, I'm not that type of girl. Besides, pretty sure P would be worse in bed while hammered."

"Oh my god.." Lapis put her hand to her mouth, bouncing in her seat before she found her voice again. "You guys had sex before, didn't you?" Amethyst only smiled, shrugging.

"I don't fuck and tell."

"I believe you just did." Peridot leaned forward herself, actually interested in this topic. She always thought Pearl was too much of a prude to even think about that stuff.

"Yeah, guess I did." Amethyst chuckled, impressed with herself. She was always so good at manipulating a conversation to what she wanted to talk about.

"Well don't keep us waiting, tell us how it went." Lapis couldn't contain herself. She had finally finished her first beer, cracking open her second.

Amethyst got this sultry, distant look on her face as she remembered her first time with Pearl.

"It was great. Well, our first time was soft and gentle. We didn't wanna rush anything, you know?"

"We?" Peridot asked, catching on to the party girl's wording. Amethyst actually blushed, averting her eyes.

"Alright, it's over and done with now, so I might as well tell you.. we were both virgins."

"No way!" Lapis couldn't believe Amethyst's words, and Peridot just sat in a stunned silence. Amethyst stayed a virgin until college? That seemed impossible!

"I know, I know, shut the fuck up." Amethyst's false anger was all in good fun, and she was laughing herself. "Surprise, surprise, I was pure till a few months ago. If you're surprised, imagine how Pearl felt."

"Oh I bet." Peridot said, bringing herself from her shock.

"Anyway, like I said, the first time was slow. But around the third and fourth times, things started getting kinky." Amethyst paused to bask in Lapis and Peridot's surprised faces. It just kept getting better and better. "She loves being on top." The other girls' jaws practically hit the floor. Yep. Better and better.

"You mean Pearl is the dominant one?!" Lapis exclaimed. Amethyst laughed leaning back on the bed she sat on.

"I know, right?! It started when she spanked me while eating me out. Aw man, I couldn't tell you how wet I was."

"Not to be rude.." Peridot interrupted, setting her now empty beer can down on the floor. "..but I think the more 'detailed' actions in your sex life should stay between you and Pearl."

Amethyst smirked. "Thought you guys wanted to hear about it." '

Lapis smiled apologetically at Amethyst, but she had to agree with Peridot. "Well, we do, but.. I don't think Pearl would be very happy with you for telling us what you guys do together aside from the simple stuff."

Thinking about it for a moment, Amethyst couldn't help but feel like the other two girls were right. "Yeah, I get what ya mean.. So what about you two?" Amethyst gestured to Peridot and Lapis, the former girl opening her second beer. "You girls have any sex stories?"

"No." The blonde was the first to answer Amethyst's question, and she wasn't ashamed to admit it. "I've never had sex. I don't know if it's even for me, honestly. Hell, I've never even had a gi-.. girlfriend." Peridot was about to catch herself and hide her homosexuality, but why should she? She was in college, and even knew a couple of lesbians here. The closet wasn't gonna stay closed forever.

Amethyst wasn't surprised that the girl in green never had sex, but she was surprised that the nerd was queer, like herself. "You just came out.. right?" Peridot sighed, taking a sip of her beer before she answered.

"Let's not make a big deal about this, okay? I'm gay, you're gay, Pearl's gay. It's all established now." In her little 'coming out' speech, if one could even call it that, she had forgotten that her being a lesbian might have an impact on her roommate.. her presumed straight roommate.

Peridot turned to see Lapis staring at her with those deep ocean blue eyes of hers. The blonde had to swallow a lump in her throat.. she was suddenly terrified.

Amethyst let out a low whistle. "Welp, your first day as roomies might just be your last."

Peridot shot Amethyst an angry glare. Did she really have to be so inconsiderate? Though, she turned back to her friend when she heard giggling. Lapis had her finger to her lips as she laughed. Why was she laughing..? Peridot didn't want to get her hopes up. Just seconds before, she was fully prepared for Lapis to announce that she was going back to her room. Peridot knew that their friendship would stay intact, nothing could come between that. She was more afraid of Lapis feeling weird being in the same room as her at night.

After a few seconds of giggling, Lapis finally took a breath, smiling widely at her friend. "Oh man.. I was so scared."

"Why were you-"

"I'm bisexual." At these words, the tension in the air suddenly disappeared.

"Oh my god." Peridot laid back on her bed, relief evident on her face. So she was scared for nothing.

"I'm guessing you thought I was gonna leave if I found out you were gay, huh?" Lapis asked her friend.

Peridot nodded, smiling up at Lapis. "You thought the same?" Lapis nodded, giggling once again. Her giggling turned to laughter, and she was soon joined with by Amethyst, then Peridot. The three girls laughed, Peridot and Lapis having their fears swept away in that see of laughter.. well, most of their fears.

When the laughter finally died down, Amethyst wiping a tear from her eye, she talked to Lapis. "Alright, alright.. so Peridot answered the question, and then some, but what about you? Any sex story to share?" Peridot's face shifted from joy to that of anticipation. She was.. anxious to hear her friend's answer.

Lapis had a finger to her chin in thought. Peridot was starting to get scared. Did Lapis have so many experiences that it was hard to pick one from the other? How many people has she had sex with? The blonde girl didn't even want to think about it. Though, her fears dissolved once again to be replaced by laughter at Lapis' answer. "Does masturbating count?"

Amethyst shook her head. "Nah, not even close. So you're both pure flowers, huh? I expected this of Wondernerd, but you, Lapis? I'm almost disappointed."

The blue hair girl scowled in mock offense. "You're one to talk, Miss Sex Machine."

"Hey, that was in high school, and just cuz I called myself that doesn't mean I had sex." The three girls were laughing once more.

Peridot knew that if she never resorted to the blade to calm herself down the night before, she wouldn't be having as much fun as she was right now. Maybe.. maybe she could get away with this after all.


	3. After Party

The three girls drank for most of the day. The sun was just starting to set when Amethyst finally stood up and said that she was going to check on Pearl. According to her, the taller girl had a massive hangover that morning. Peridot was still on her second beer, not wanting to get too drunk just in case she let it slip that she recently starting cutting herself again. Lapis, however, was opening her third drink from the cans that Amethyst left, getting into the swing of things. The blue haired girl had a deeper blush on her cheeks, and her voice was already getting slurred. Lapis was such a lightweight, at least to Amethyst.

"This was fun, huh?" Lapis asked her friend, giggling. Peridot chuckled as well.

"Yeah.. it was pretty fun. If only Amethyst wasn't so loud all the time, we could do this more often."

"She ain't that bad." Peridot almost felt a little jealous that Lapis was defending the shorter girl. But she was with Pearl. There's no way Amethyst could steal the Peridot's crush from her.. well, not that Lapis was hers to begin with.

"Hey Peri..?" Lapis said after a few minutes of silence, the girls just sipping on their drinks.

"Yeah?"

"You know why I don't drink?" The blonde could guess a million reasons to stay away from alcohol. It messed with your depth perception, your senses, destroyed your liver, a bunch of stuff. But she decided to humor her friend. She was a bit tipsy herself, after all.

"Why?"

"It's because I can't lie when I'm drunk."

Well, Peridot knew that was true too. "No one can lie when they're drunk, Lapis. It's alcohol."

The blue haired girl giggled kicking her feet in the air. "I knoooww!" When Lapis stopped kicking, she laid herself back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Peridot watched as Lapis' face grew this dark expression, as if she had just witnessed the most horrifying action in existence and was traumatized. Her eyes were dark, void of the warmth that are usually held within them. Peridot felt a shiver run down her spine.

"I'm afraid of telling the truth, though." Now, why would the queen of ballet be afraid of the truth? Well, Pearl was the actual queen, but.. Lapis was Peridot's queen.

"Why?"

"I have secrets, Peri.. even from you."

Normally, anyone would be surprised to hear that their best friend kept secrets from them, but not Peridot. It was only natural, after all. Everyone, no matter how much of a Saint they believe they are, has secrets. "It's fine. Everyone has secrets."

"Not like mine." Lapis looked at Peridot, and even though they held eye contact, the blonde felt as if she was being looked through, rather than looked at.

"If.. If I start saying something weird.. will you stop me?"

"What you're saying now is weird, Lapis.."

"Please?" The blue haired girl looked as if she were on the verge of tears. She suddenly sat up placing her hands on Peridot's shoulders after placing her drink on the ground.

"Please, Peri.. I-I can't let you know. Please keep me from talking, please!" Peridot never saw Lapis like this before. The usually free spirit was now riddled with fear. Was her secret really so important?

"Do.. Pearl and Amethyst know?" The only answer Peridot needed was when her friend averted her eyes. The blonde certainly felt a little.. betrayed. What could _**they**_ know that Peridot couldn't?

"Alright." Peridot stood from the bed, not even looking at her friend while she grabbed her hand. "Let's get you to their room.. you can come back when you're sober."

Lapis stood as well, but she didn't move from her spot. "B-but.. I wanna stay here.."

Peridot pulled hard on Lapis' wrist, putting their faces as close to each other as possible. The blonde actually looked angry.

"Listen, there's no way I'm gonna know what comes out of your mouth. Either you stay here and risk spilling your secret that's so _fucking_ special, or you go to Pearl's room. They'll take care of you, and your secret will be kept from me, like always." Lapis' eyes were wide at her friend's outburst. She had never seen Peridot get so.. emotional before. Well, she did, but that was before she stopped cutting herself for the first time.

Lapis wanted to push that thought to the back of her head as quickly as possible. Peridot wouldn't do that again, not after such a long time. She only nodded, deciding to go along with her friend's plan.

"I'll go.."

The blonde sighed, turning as she lead her drunk friend from the room. In actuality, she didn't want to make Lapis leave.. she wanted to keep her here, she wanted to hear this secret. But she didn't at the same time. She just had to be in love with this girl.

Peridot knocked on Pearl and Amethyst's door. Behind it, she heard a loud groan, probably coming from Pearl.

"Go away..!" Yup, it was Pearl. Amethyst opened the door despite her girlfriend's protests, and was surprised to see Peridot and Lapis there, the latter having a guilty look on her face.

"Peri, Lapis, wassup? Come for an after-party?"

"Nooo..." Pearl moaned from her bed. Peridot shook her head.

"No.. I need you to look after Lapis until she's sober."

"Wh-"

"She doesn't want me to know this big secret she has.. she told me you already knew what it was."

Amethyst stared wide eyed at Lapis, who was now biting her lip and clutching at her dress. The smaller girl couldn't believe that Lapis even mentioned her secret.. that's why she didn't want to drink.

"Aw, man.. I shouldn't have given you that beer, come on in." Lapis walked into the room, whispering a quiet 'thank you' as she did.

Peridot was about to leave but Amethyst stopped her by grabbing her wrist. The blonde had to resist the urge to snatch her hand away from the shorter girl as she turned to look at her.

"Listen, I know you're probably pretty pissed.."

"That's an understatement.."

"But.." Amethyst took a deep breath before she continued. "It's a very good reason. I would tell you, I really would, but I promised her I wouldn't. She's terrified, Peri."

Peridot sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I know.. but she's my best friend." Peridot looked passed Amethyst into the room. Lapis was sitting with Pearl, already laughing again, much to the taller girl's annoyance. It was as if the blue haired girl already forgot about Peridot.. well, she was drunk. "I'd understand."

"I know you would, Peri, and I'm sure she does too.. but she doesn't wanna take that risk for that small chance that you wouldn't."

"Whatever.. just take care of her." Peridot didn't wait for Amethyst's reply. She had to get back to her room. Just half an hour ago, she was having so much fun. She was actually happy to be drinking with Amethyst and Lapis. But now..

Her walking became faster, and faster. Soon enough, she was jogging down the hallway, then burst into a full on sprint. Her heart was beating so quickly, her breath was heavy, her tears in large quantities.. she needed her blade!

Peridot burst into her room, quickly closing the door behind her. She ran into the bathroom, nearly tearing the medicine cabinet door off of its hinges. Medication fell from the shelves in the sink below as she desperately searched for that wonderful metal.

When she finally found her release, she once again sat on the edge of the bathtub, rolling up her left sleeve. It had to be her left arm, just like before. If Lapis did find the cuts, it would be far too suspicious if it were on both arms. She could at least blame _this_ on a stray cat.. maybe.

She slowly removed the band-aid that she placed on her wrist before, revealing the first cuts she made. They were already scabbing over. These wounds were so shallow. Just a scratch.. she needed just a scratch.

Peridot repeated this to herself as she slid the blade across her skin, again and again. As her blood escaped her body, she could feel herself calming down. She could feel herself becoming analytical again, the way it should be. So what if Lapis had a secret? Peridot had a secret of her own.. a secret that she would never, ever be able to tell her friend. Well, two secrets now that she started her old habit again.

She leaned her head back, closing her eyes as she allowed the blood to flow. The warmth of the iron filled liquid comforted her. The pain comforted her. If there was ever a day that these small cuts couldn't sustain her, Peridot knew.. with the blade, the way to destroy her emotions would be quick, almost painless. A little more pressure, a deeper cut down her arm, and it would all be over.

But Peridot knew she'd never be able to do such a thing. Though she may desperately want to leave this world, she couldn't leave Lapis alone. Sure, over time, she would forget. Lapis would get over Peridot's passing, but in the first moments of realization, the pain would be excruciating. If Peridot killed herself, in that moment, she would cause her crush much more pain than Peridot herself had ever experienced.

So deep was Peridot in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door to her dorm swing open. Nor did she realize that she left her bathroom door open wide. So encased in her panic, the blonde forgot all of the cautions she should have normally taken. She was only brought from her reverie when she heard Amethyst's angry voice.

"What the _**fuck**_ are you doing?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's read my story so far. I was a little downtrodden when my story "When Death Calls" didn't get as much publicity as I had hoped, but then again, it didn't get that popular when I posted it to fanfiction.net either. 
> 
> Now, I think I've mentioned this in my profile or something. But if I didn't, I wanna let you guys know that every single story I post to this website is already completed. Since I started my writing on fanfiction.net, I'm going to use that as my main profile. For anyone who wants to go ahead and finish "Destruction of Property", go here: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3584440/
> 
> But if you want to be patient, I'll try to post new chapters to my stories on this website every day, at least, the stories I've already completed on fanfiction.net. 
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for checking out my work. It means a lot to me.


	4. An Arrangement is Made

Peridot's eyes went wide with fear, her hand clasping over her bleeding wrist as she stared at the girl in the doorway. The blonde even dropped her razor, the metal making a dull clank against the bathroom tile. Amethyst was absolutely livid.

"Seriously Peri, what the fuck?"

"Don't tell Lapis!" Peridot's desperate plea only made the shorter girl even more angry.

"Why the fuck not?!"

"I-I.." Peridot was trying to find the right words. Amethyst let herself in the bathroom, looking through the clutter that fell from the medicine cabinet. She grabbed some bandages, the kind you would use to wrap around a sprained ankle.

The blonde didn't put up any resistance as Amethyst took Peridot's bloody arm in her hands. As Amethyst cleaned the blood with a rag got from the bathroom sink, most likely the same rag that Peridot first used to clean herself up, she spoke.

"When Lapis sobers up, you're gonna talk to her about this."

"No!" Peridot yelled so loudly that Amethyst actually flinched. The blonde put a hand over her mouth when her temporary medic gave her a dirty look. Peridot talked behind her hand. "S-sorry.. but I can't tell her." Amethyst sighed. Though she was still incredibly angry with the blonde girl, she needed to be supportive. Self harm was a serious subject. She began to wrap the bandages around Peridot's arm.

"You need to. She can help you. _We_ can help you."

"I can't.." Peridot looked away from the smaller girl. "I tried getting help before." Amethyst stayed silent, but Peridot knew that she was listening. "Last night was the first time I did it in a few year."

"So rain _can_ cause depression. Go figure." Still with the jokes.. at least she was being like this, rather than angry.

"It wasn't the rain."

"What, school stress getting to you?"

"No.."

"Trouble with family?"

"No."

"Then what, Peri?" All of this questioning was annoying Peridot. At least the blade was able to work its magic before Amethyst interrupted.

"I can't tell you."

"You need to tell someone."

"No.. I can't tell anyone." Peridot's mind was made up and set in stone. She knew that if she told anyone why she had to hurt herself like this, it would somehow get back to Lapis.

"Oh my god, will you get your head out of your ass?" Amethyst tied the bandages tightly when she finished covering the scars. She placed her hands on her hips, staring eye to eye with Peridot. "You're in college, you get straight A's, and you have friends who would take bullets for you if they could. The least you could do is stop being so damned stubborn and let us help you. This isn't healthy, Peri.."

Peridot knew that it was true. She averted her eyes from the shorter girl, clutching at her bandaged wrist. She could still feel the pain. That helped a little with what she was about to say.

"I don't like to feel." The blonde whispered after a deep breath. Amethyst raised an eyebrow. Peridot continued.

"I'm not depressed, or stressed, or anything like that.. When I was younger, I would always get these panic attacks when everything was just.. too much." She chuckled as she told her story.

"The first time was when I was.. I dunno, twelve? I was home-schooled for a very long time, and when I told my mom I wanted to try public school, she was so happy. She went on and on about how many friends I would make, about the homework I would bring home. Maybe even get my first 'boyfriend'. I can still remember her face when I told her I was a lesbian a few years later. She was supportive, thankfully, but that's not what I'm talking about."

"When I first got to school.. I can't remember the name of it for the life of me, but everyone was so nice to me. No one made fun of me, everyone thought I was cool for being smart. I remember when you asked me if you could touch my hair." Amethyst grinned at this despite herself. Peridot's hair _was_ pretty pointy.

As she talked, Peridot's grip on her arm got tighter and tighter. No fresh blood was being spilled because the cuts were so shallow, but to keep talking about her past like this.. she needed the pain.

"I was so happy.. my first day went so smoothly, and Lapis and I got along so well. We're so different, but it didn't matter to her. She actually wanted me to be her friend." Peridot could feel her panic rising again. She dug her fingernails into her arm, tearing some of the bandages so she could get to her skin.

Amethyst grabbed Peridot's wrist, but the blonde had already made new wounds. They were even more shallow than the blade, but they were still bleeding.

"Seriously, Peri?" Peridot could already feel herself calming down. She ignored Amethyst and continued talking.

"It was only when I got home that everything hit me. I told my mom everything, and when I did, it just.. kept getting harder and harder to breathe. My mom hugged me to try and calm me down, but that just wouldn't work. She left to get my inhaler from my room, and.. that's when I grabbed a kitchen knife. She was so scared for me when she saw the blood."

Peridot remembered her mother's face clearly. A mix between fear for her child and anger, just like the face Amethyst held.

"I told her I was okay. She took the knife from me and checked my arm, patched me up.. and the whole time, I was smiling like it never even happened."

She paused here, looking down to see that Amethyst was just finishing up re-wrapping her arm. The shorter girl used twice the amount of bandages, Peridot noticed.

"That's a pretty weird story." Amethyst commented, taking a seat on the closed toilet seat. "What helped you stop?"

"Lapis." Oddly enough, Peridot didn't have trouble with talking about how she was cured.. well, temporarily.

"I went to a few help groups when I was sixteen, but they didn't do anything for me. I told Lapis what I did afterwards. She didn't try to help me in the conventional means. It was weird, really." Peridot leaned her head back, closing her eyes.

"She asked me to dance with her. Every day, until graduation, we danced together in the park, even during the rain. I completely forgot about cutting myself."

"So just dance with her again." Peridot sighed, gripping her arm gain.

"I can't.. she was so happy when I told her I hadn't touched a blade in those years. I can't tell her I'm doing this again."

That was the end of Peridot's story. Amethyst listened intently the whole time, trying to think of anything that was in the story that may help the blonde. But she couldn't. Well, she could, but Peridot was just too stubborn.

"..did talking about it help at all?" Peridot chuckled, shaking her head.

"No. I still want to hurt myself."

"Figures.." Amethyst stood up, stretching. When she finished, she began to clean up all the stuff that fell from the medicine cabinet. It wasn't hard to guess that this happened when Peridot was looking for her razor.

Speaking of the razor, Peridot eyed the bloody blade on the floor. Amethyst was busy.. she could probably grab it without the shorter girl noticing. It would be quick, but she didn't move. She knew Amethyst wouldn't be stupid enough to forget about it. And she didn't. Once she placed everything back in the medicine cabinet, she turned and picked up the small blade on the floor.

"I'll be taking this." Peridot became scared again.. she was about to say something, but Amethyst interrupted her. "I won't tell Lapis. But I will tell Pearl. We're going to help you." The blonde calmed down a bit, but she was still skeptical.. there was probably a catch. "You have a month to get better before we go to Lapis." There it was.

Peridot was about to protest, but the stern glare from the shorter girl forced her to hold her tongue. When Amethyst wanted to, she could be pretty persuasive. Well, Peridot did drink with her and Lapis earlier that day..

The blonde reluctantly nodded. Maybe this could work. She hoped so, at least. Lapis didn't need to know.

"Good. We start tomorrow, after classes."

"Tomorrow's Saturday.."

"...then we start first thing in the morning." Peridot actually chuckled. Amethyst smiled, turning to leave before she stopped herself. The shorter girl made her way to the mini fridge, pulling out a few bottles of water. Peridot exited the bathroom, sitting on her bed as Amethyst collected the drinks.

"I almost forgot that Lapis asked for this stuff.. All I have is beer, coke, and green tea."

"You drink green tea?"

Amethyst scoffed, closing the fridge door. "Pearl drinks green tea. The coke's all mine. When Lapis sobers up, I'll send her back in here." Amethyst smiled kindly at Peridot. "You just.. get some rest or something. Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks for, you know.. wanting to help."

"And not telling Lapis?"

Peridot grinned. "Yeah, that too."

Amethyst left the room, and Peridot rolled down her sleeve so that it would cover her bandages. She didn't really feel like resting. Instead, she sat at her desk at the foot of her bed, opening her advanced mathematics book. Maybe doing some early equations would help her keep her mind off of things.

As time went by, Peridot worked on problem after problem. She almost found these too easy. She would have to go to the school bookstore and request a higher level book. She didn't even realize that the moon had already risen high in the sky. The only thing to bring her from her work was Lapis' voice.

"Doing some more work?" The blonde nearly jumped from her seat. She turned in her swivel chair to face the blue haired girl, who had her hands behind her back.

"Y-yeah.. How are you feeling?"

"Oh I'm feeling much better." Lapis plopped herself down on Peridot's bed, looking at her upside down. "Sorry about getting all frantic on you. You know, about that secret of mine and all."

"It's no trouble." Peridot brushed Lapis' apology away, returning to her work. "Everyone has secrets. Even I have secrets, you know."

"Yeah, I figured. As long as you're not hurting yourself again, I don't care what you're hiding."

"Yeah.." Lapis hit the nail right on the head. It was almost ironic. Peridot wanted to keep this from Lapis, but it was the very first thing that popped into the blue haired girl's mind. This might be harder than she thought.

"Even if you did, though.. you know, start that up again, we'd just dance together like before." Lapis' smile was sincere. Peridot couldn't' help but feel that her crush was telling the truth. No matter how many times the blonde went back to her old habits, Lapis would be there for her. It made it hard to keep her secret to herself.

"Yeah.. you ever think it's weird how dancing with you helped me in the first place?"

Lapis sat up, shrugging her shoulders.

"Honestly, I thought you had a crush on me back then." God dammit Lapis. "But it was probably just cuz we were best friends. You know, do everything and anything for each other. I thought you were straight the whole time, after all."

"Y-yeah.." Peridot was starting to feel again. She couldn't let this get to her, not in front of Lapis. She took deep breaths, trying to keep silent. She focused her eyes to the words and numbers in her book. These equations helped a little.

"I totally would have dated you too." God _**dammit**_ Lapis!

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?"

Lapis giggled, bringing her knees up to her chest. "I dunno.. guess being drunk just brought this out of me."

"You're sober now though."

"You know what I mean, Peri." Yeah, Peridot knew what she meant. She was just trying to stray from the subject.

"Did Pearl get any better?"

Lapis nodded. "Yeah.. one hell of a hangover though, to last all day. I don't think she's ever gonna drink again."

"I should hope not. They're cute together, but Amethyst can be a bad influence." Peridot sighed. She couldn't focus on her equations anymore. Closing the book, she turned to look at Lapis, resting her head in her hand and her elbow on her desk.

"Amethyst isn't as bad as she seems." Lapis defended her friend. "She's a good person, and knows how to do things in moderation." Peridot had to agree with Lapis on that one. Damn the shorter girl for being so considerate. Lapis stood from the bed, stretching.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed. You gonna stay up some more?"

Peridot shook her head. "No.. I need to stop staying up late." Lapis smiled, reaching behind her neck to undo the ribbon that held the top portion of her dress in place. Peridot had always thought that the dress was just one big outfit, but the top and bottom were actually separate. The top was actually just a backless and sleeveless top, and came off easily.

Peridot turned away quickly, a deep blush on her face. Lapis wasn't wearing a bra. The blue haired girl unfastened her skirt, letting it fall to the floor before collecting both garments. She hung the top in the closet, then slung the skirt across the bottom of the hanger. She collected her blue tee shirt, draping it over her body. She turned back to go to her bed and saw how Peridot was avoiding looking at her. Lapis giggled.

"You can look, Peri."

Peridot hesitantly looked up, but was relieved to see that Lapis was covered. Though, seeing those blue panties of hers still brought a blush to Peridot's face. "Do you normally sleep half naked?"

Lapis laughed again, sitting herself on her bed. "I sleep completely naked, actually. Didn't think you'd approve of that, though."

"You thought right." Peridot wouldn't be able to keep her nose from bleeding if her crush slept naked just a few feet from her.

Peridot sighed, standing up to turn off the light.

"Goodnight Lapis.."

"G'night Peri."

And with those last words, the room was shrouded in darkness.


	5. Week One, Part One

Peridot was the first to wake up. Looking toward her desk, the digital clock read 6:54. It was so early. She was forced to sleep in her hoodie, just in case Lapis woke up before her. She would see the bandages on her arm, start asking questions, and things would get out of hand quickly.

Peridot wouldn't be so annoyed with waking up so early if she didn't have a reason for it. She was sure that Amethyst was going to be waiting on her. Amethyst probably told Pearl about it already, too.

Slowly, the blonde dragged herself out of her bed and to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Her hair looked disheveled in the mirror, but she didn't care. Somehow, it always shifted into a triangular pattern during the day, like gravity didn't even affect it. What, was she some character from Dragon Ball? That thought brought a grin to her face. If anything, she'd probably be Vegeta.

Peridot exited the bathroom, and despite knowing it was probably a bad idea, she looked over to the sleeping Lapis. Even the way she slept was beautiful.

The blue haired girl was on her back, her mouth barely open and her arms resting above her head. Her soft snoring was so peaceful, her chest rising up and down in a slow pattern. Peridot could watch her crush sleep all day.. but she really couldn't. These emotions.. they were the source of her problems. She had to fall out of love with Lapis, she knew she had to. At least, she felt that she needed to. Tearing her eyes away from the sleeping girl, Peridot exited the room and began her walk down the hall.

* * *

Peridot knocked on Amethyst and Pearl's door. There was some rushed rustling behind it before Pearl's voice sounded.

"Come in!"

Peridot let herself into the room and raised an eyebrow when she saw that Pearl was wearing one of Amethyst's black tank tops and some pajama bottoms. Amethyst herself was just in a sports bra and short shorts. They were both in the same bed, and Amethyst stood from it, greeting the blonde girl.

"Hey Peri. Didn't expect to see you here so early."

"You did say first thing in the morning."

"Well yeah, but I thought 'first thing' for you was like, ten o'clock or something." Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose, obviously annoyed.

"Look, if you two are busy, I can come back later."

"No, you can stay.. right P?" Amethyst looked back at her girlfriend on the bed, who nodded.

"Of course. Amethyst told me everything. Are you sure you can't tell Lapis? She might be able to help more than we can."

"I'm sure." Peridot allowed herself in the room, sitting on what she assumed was Pearl's bed with how neat and tidy it was. That means that the bed the couple was just in was Amethyst's. "I can't let her know. She'll be devastated."

Pearl nodded in understanding, sitting up in the bed. There was a small lump under the blanket beside Pearl, but Peridot would rather not learn what it was.. probably some sex toy. She was still surprised that the taller girl was the dominant one in their relationship.

"So.. how do we get started?" Peridot asked, eager to just get this little session over with. Amethyst and Pearl looked at each other. It was as if a silent conversation took place between them, because after a few seconds, Amethyst went to their mini fridge. Rummaging through it, she pulled out a bottle of citrus green tea, tossing it to Peridot. The blonde caught it, but gave the couple a disbelieving look.

"You're serious?"

"First thing we're gonna do is get you to eat and drink better." Peridot couldn't believe this. It wasn't a physical problem she had, it was an emotional problem!

"I don't think this is gonna help me."

"Well, it helped me cut back on smoking." Peridot was surprised that these words came from the taller girl's mouth. Pearl smoked? "Yeah, I know what you're thinking." Pearl stood from Amethyst's bed, coming sit beside Peridot. She reached in the drawer of her nightstand beside her bed, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. After taking a stick from the pack, she handed the pack to Peridot, which had three left upon inspection, excluding the cigarette that Pearl was lighting for herself.

"I don't know what you're trying to get across.." Peridot said to Pearl, who was taking a drag on the cigarette. Her cigarette was held between her fingers, her entire hand covering her mouth as she inhaled the nicotine. Peridot actually found this to be quite attractive of the taller girl.. she certainly had the look for it.

Pearl finally exhaled, blowing the smoke out of the open window between her bed and Amethyst's. "That pack had twenty cigarettes in it. I've had it for a week and a day, this being the second day of the second week."

"No.."

"Yeah." Pearl looked proud of herself, smiling widely. Peridot couldn't blame her. "I worked myself down to two cigarettes a day. It's thanks to Amethyst, really."

Peridot looked at the shorter girl, who nodded.

"I was the one that actually got Pearl into the green tea stuff. I'm studying to be a major in Health, after all." Peridot's eyes only grew wider. She would never have expected the girl who takes care of herself the least to want to go into health.

"Yeah, Ame is just full of surprises." Pearl took another puff of her cigarette before she continued speaking, flicking the excess ashes out of the window. "I was surprised myself. I told her I was a smoker when we got together. I kept it secret from everyone else, even my parents. I thought that the girl who became my partner needed to know what she was getting into."

Amethyst scoffed. "You did not just say that. You're dating me, and _I_ was getting into something?"

Pearl smirked. "Touche."

"But yeah, I told Amethyst my little habit, and she said she wanted to help me." Pearl got this distant look in her eyes as she remembered the actions that her girlfriend took. "She tried so hard to get me to quit. She tried getting me to chew gum, ice, use nicotine patches, everything. But after one of her health classes last semester, she suggested green tea.. and it worked. Well, kinda. It helped me cut back at least." Pearl took one last drag of her cigarette before she flicked it out the window. Luckily, there was a sewage drain right outside the room.

"It still sounds unbelievable." Peridot was still skeptical about this story of Pearl's. Being.. well, Pearl, Peridot just assumed that she always tried to be healthy and nutritious. Why would green tea make a difference?

"Yeah, figured you'd say that." Amethyst spoke up.

Pearl lowering her head. The sudden shift in mood was evident to Peridot. "You can tell her, Amethyst."

"Tell me what?" Peridot asked. She was ignored, however. Amethyst put her hand on Pearl's.

"Are you sure, Sweet P? We don't have to say anything."

"Say what?"

Pearl nodded, a small smile on her face. "I'm sure. She needs to know if it'll help her."

"Oh my god.." Peridot let out a groan, rubbing her hand across her face. It feels like she's been in this situation before.

"Anyway, Peri.." Amethyst started, finally turning her attention to the blonde. Peridot gave her full attention, despite her annoyance. "Pearl was addicted to more than just smoking.."

"Like what?"

Pearl chuckled, hugging herself at her arms. "How many drugs can you think of?" Peridot could think of a lot, actually. What was Pearl getting at? "Meth, heroin, depressants, stimulants, cannabis.. and that's just to name a few." So many surprises were coming to the blonde today. Her own problems seemed to pale in comparison. Amethyst continued for her girlfriend.

"Pearl's home life was a living Hell. Her parents treated her like a slave, and the only way she kept from going insane was with these drugs."

"It was so easy, at first." Pearl said. "I started with the weed. It was the lesser of two evils, so I figured why not? It felt so good.. before I knew it, I was scarfing pills and sticking my arm with needles. I thought it was only a matter of time before I was taken advantage of in some alley way." She paused, taking a quick look at Peridot to see if she was still listening. She was. Pearl continued.

"Luckily, Rose.. Mrs. Quartz found me first, doped up in a gutter. I spilled out everything that happened to me to her, and she took me in. I've been living with her ever since, until I enrolled in Diamond University, of course. My parents never came looking for me. They probably don't even care that I'm gone."

"That sounds horrible." Peridot spoke for the first time since this story started, but Pearl just brushed away her words.

"What's horrible is that I didn't leave sooner. They were never parents to me. My real mother is Rose." Pearl smiled, remembering how the woman helped her. "She was so nice.. her, along with Amethyst, helped me kick all of my addictions. The only one I'm still working on is cigarettes."

"And the green tea helps you with that how?" Pearl's story was surely sad, but this didn't get to the point. What the fuck was so special about green tea? Amethyst answered.

"It's not so much the drink as it is the mindset.."

"So the drink is worthless."

"No, it's just.. just drink it." Peridot decided to humor the couple. They watched as she opened the bottle, bringing the drink to her lips.

She didn't understand why the drink was so special.. It was just a drink. But as the liquid passed through her throat, Peridot couldn't help but feel.. better somehow. After a few gulps of the tea, she handed the bottle back to Amethyst.

"Well?" The shorter girl asked, a smile on her face.

"It certainly tastes good."

"But how do you feel?" Pearl asked, anxious to hear Peridot's answer.

"I dunno." She could still taste the drink. It was a sweet aftertaste, leaving her craving more.

"I feel like I'd get addicted to it."

"That's the point." Amethyst said, placing the drink back in the fridge after putting the cap back on. "It's very high in vitamin C, potassium, and sodium. One bottle of this gives you almost half of the nutrients you need in a day."

"That's very convenient, but I still don't see how it's supposed to help me with my 'problem'." Peridot said this with air quotes, not quite seeing at how cutting herself was a problem in the first place. if she wasn't endangering her life, what was to worry?

"It makes you feel better about yourself, for one thing." Pearl started. "It makes you feel like you could do anything. It's weird. There are a lot of drinks like this, but the taste of the green tea mixed with citrus is just.. too good. It has honey in it too."

"I could tell." Peridot had to agree with that. She still couldn't think that it would help her stop cutting, but she would give it a try.

"Trust me. I'm a Health major." Amethyst's words made Peridot grin.

"Is that the line you used to get Pearl in bed?" Pearl glared at Amethyst, who looked away with an innocent looking face.

"What did you tell her at that party of yours?"

"Oh nothing." Peridot answered for Amethyst. "Well, just that you're the top in the relationship."

"Oh my god." Pearl face-palmed while Amethyst pulled Peridot to her feet, rushing her out the door.

"Well, we had a good session, Peri. Drink some more green tea, and come back here same time next week. Good luck. Bye!" Like that, Peridot was kicked out of the room, the door slamming behind her. The blonde chuckled as Pearl yelled at her girlfriend.

Sighing, she started the walk back to her room. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all. The tea did taste pretty good. And after hearing what Pearl went through.. self harm seemed pretty pale in comparison. But that wasn't true. Any problem, emotional or otherwise, needed full attention.

* * *

Peridot walked into her room to find that Lapis had already woken up and had dressed herself in her casual wear of her tee shirt and black pants. She was sitting on the bed, a can of beer in her hands. It was one of two last cans that Amethyst left.

"I thought you'd be done with that stuff after last night."

Lapis giggled, nodding her head. "Yeah, but you know me. I can't let anything go to waste. It's just one can, anyway, not like I'm gonna get drunk from it. I saved the other one for you." As she said this, the blue haired girl grabbed the other can, holding it out for Peridot. The blonde took it hesitantly. Well, if she was going to start a green tea diet, one more drink wouldn't hurt.

"Thanks." She sat across from Lapis, cracking the drink open.

"Where'd you go off to so early, anyway?" Lapis asked. Peridot saw no problem with telling the truth.. this time.

"I was visiting Pearl and Amethyst. You were still asleep when I woke up, so I went to see how Pearl was."

"Does she still have a hangover?" Peridot shook her head.

"Nah, she's over it. I almost caught them fucking though."

"No way.. how do you know?"

"Pearl was wearing Amethyst's top. They're lucky I knocked first." Lapis laughed, imagining how the couple reacted when Peridot knocked on their door.

"I didn't think Pearl would be in the mood for morning sex after that massive hangover."

"Well they say online that orgasms cure headaches." Lapis would ask why Peridot knew this, but she could already guess. There was no safety for innocent eyes on the internet.

"I'll have to remember that next time I get a headache." Peridot nearly choked on her drink, her blush deep as she coughed. Lapis just laughed. "Come on, we're both girls here. You had to have gotten yourself off a few times yourself, right?" Peridot continued coughing, now just trying to stall for time. Maybe Lapis would get bored of waiting for an answer. But she sat patiently, waiting for her friend to help herself. Of course Lapis would be the patient type.

"N-no.." Peridot finally said, her blush brighter than ever. "I've uh.. never touched myself." Lapis didn't believe her friend at first.

"No way. Everyone masturbates, Peri."

"Not me." Slowly, realization dawned on the blue haired girl. Her friend really never did it? "Don't look at me like that, seriously." Peridot felt like she was being judged. Lapis put her now empty can on the floor, standing from the bed afterward.

"No wonder you're so uptight all the time." She got on her hands and knees, reaching under her bed. The blonde had to keep herself from staring at her crush's ass.

Lapis stood back up, holding a small box with a lid. Peridot thought that they had unpacked everything. The blue haired girl sat beside Peridot, removing the box. Inside, on top of some tissue paper usually used in gifts, was a pink bullet vibrator, with a neatly tied wire attached to a remote.

"Oh my god, Lapis, I'm not using that!" Peridot's face blew up in a blush once she realized Lapis' intentions. She forced the box in Peridot's lap.

"Of course you are! Trust me, Peri, you need this."

"B-but.." Lapis stood from the bed, walking backwards out of the room.

"I'm gonna go hang with Pearl and Amethyst. Don't forget to put down a towel, be sure to clean it after you're done, and lock the door after I leave. Have fun. Bye!" Peridot was left alone, Lapis having closed the door as she left.

The blonde stared down at the sex toy in her lap. She couldn't believe that Lapis actually told her to use this.

"God dammit, Lapis.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you couldn't tell, I REALLY like green tea.


	6. Week One, Part Two

Peridot couldn't believe that this day went from her getting help with her cutting problem, to Lapis trying to get her to masturbate. What the fuck was going on?

The blonde placed the box with the toy to her side. She couldn't believe that Lapis used this thing.

_Lapis used it._

Peridot sat at her desk, rolling the chair to be in front of her desktop computer. She decided that she could play her video games today. Maybe she should get some green tea from one of the vending machines around the college, though. She's seen them around, and decided it would be best for her.

Sighing, Peridot stood up from her desk and looked through her closet for some pants. Maybe if Peridot cut her thighs instead of her wrists, the scratches would be easier to hide. It didn't matter now.

She removed her shorts, replacing them with khaki pants. Khakis looked normal in any situation. Peridot slipped on some black shoes and headed out the door, making her way to the ground floor.

On the entire walk, Peridot's thoughts wandered. She thought about what Pearl and Amethyst had told her, and how sincere they were when they wanted to help. It was so nice of them. And Pearl's story was so.. sad.

The blonde felt the familiar panic rise within her chest and took deep breaths as she walked downstairs. She needed to clear her mind. Emotion was useless to her. She thought of something else.

Lapis really was different from what Peridot's known her to be.. well, not really. She just never expected the blue haired girl to be so sexual with herself. She especially didn't think that her crush would use that sex toy currently lying upstairs.

_Lapis used it._

Peridot shook her head, chuckling to herself. There was no way in Hell.

She finally reached the ground floor and made her way out of the side door of the building, to the courtyard. This was where the machines were.

It was also where another, darker skinned woman was sitting on a bench, a cigarette between her fingers. Now, Garnet being a smoker didn't surprise Peridot. Or rather, Peridot just didn't care.

"Mornin' Dot." Garnet greeted the blonde, raising her hand lazily.

"Good morning, Garnet." Peridot turned and reached into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled dollar. Hopefully, the machine would take it after Peridot straightened the currency on the corner of the machine.

Luckily for her, the machine was feeling generous today. Peridot collected her drink, making her way back inside before Garnet's voice stopped her.

"Never figured you for green tea."

The blonde sighed, turning back to look at the taller woman, who was taking a puff on her cigarette.

"I didn't think I'd be drinking this stuff either."

"What's the occasion?" Peridot had to respect Garnet's senses. She somehow always knew when something was.. off. Peridot decided, _fuck it, the more the merrier, right?_

Peridot rolled up her left sleeve just enough to reveal her bandages, earning a raised eyebrow from Garnet.

"Ask Amethyst and Pearl. I told them everything, but please don't tell Lapis what you hear. They promised they'd wait a month to tell her if I didn't get better."

The machine in Garnet's head worked rather well, as she understood exactly what Peridot meant. Taking one last drag on her cigarette before flicking it in a nearby trash can, she stood and walked over to Peridot.

Peridot expected to get slapped. That's what the more mature woman usually did when her underclassmen did something stupid. However, Peridot was surprised when she was pulled into a hug. Albeit it was a rather crude, uncomfortable hug, it was still a hug, nonetheless.

"Just promise you'll get better." Garnet whispered. Peridot felt that familiar feeling rise in her gut. She had to get away from this woman as soon as possible.

"I-I'll try.. Please let me go." Garnet seemed to understand, as she immediately released the blonde. Peridot turned on her heel, rushing back inside the building.

Peridot ran back to her room, the exercise making her forget her emotions, for a time. Slamming her bedroom door behind herself, and now leaning against it, Peridot fumbled with the cap of the bottle she just bought.

The liquid felt like heaven when it slid down her throat. She nearly downed half the bottle in one gulp, just trying to get her bearings together.

Garnet was just as worried about the blonde as Amethyst and Pearl was. But that was natural, Peridot thought. It was natural to worry about someone with such a disorder.

She clutched at her head, her breathing coming to a steady rhythm as she sat back down at her desk. Peridot was okay.. analytical. Void of emotion. The way it should be.

Peridot booted up her computer, opening her Steam account. What game should she play? Diablo? Call of Duty? Nah.. Fallout 3 was calling to her today. She was lucky to have gotten it on the Steam Sale.

Though, as she began creating her character, her mind wandered from the task at hand. She couldn't help but look over to the box on her bed every now and again.

Lapis was always so calm and joyful. Was this why?

Peridot tore the thought from her mind, attempting to keep her focus on her game. Her character's name was Azure. Her hair was blue and she had a small figure. Peridot focused her stats more in Charisma and Agility rather than Strength and Endurance. Wait.. this was starting to look familiar.

The blonde girl immediately shut down her computer, standing from the desk. Peridot grabbed the box on the bed, looking down at the pink bullet.

_Lapis used this._

Peridot stood there, staring at the device. How would she even go about using it?

The blonde sighed, putting the lid back on the box. She didn't need this shit. She just needed to sleep.

She shoved the box under her bed, sighing as she climbed into it afterwards. A nap would help her for sure.

* * *

"So Amethyst didn't tell you Peri was gay?" Lapis asked Pearl, who still had a shocked look on her face. The three girls in the room had just had a conversation about when they found out their sexuality, and Lapis made a comment about asking Peridot later. Amethyst was rolling around on her bed, kicking her feet in laughter.

Pearl pinched the bridge of her nose, taking a breath to calm herself down. "I always thought she was ace.. You know, not attracted to any gender."

Lapis put a finger to her lips in thought. "Huh.. I always thought she was straight, but I guess asexual makes more sense. But you're not surprised that I'm bi?"

"Please.." Pearl scoffed at the blue haired girl. "My gaydar isn't _that_ broken. Peridot is just a special case, is all."

Amethyst had been laughing her lungs out this entire time, and when she finally caught her breath, she sat up, wiping a tear from her eyes. "Aw, man.. P, your face was priceless!"

"You're still laughing about that?" Pearl scolded her girlfriend, seemingly hurt.

"Come on, babe." Amethyst snuggled up to Pearl, and despite the taller girl's protests, she couldn't help but smile and wrap her arms around her lover. "You know you love me."

"Yeah.. yeah I do." The two shared a quick kiss. Then another, then another.

When the couple looked back at Lapis, both of their faces grew an intense blush. The blue haired girl had her hands clasped together, her eyes practically twinkling.

"You guys are so fucking cute."

"Shut up." Amethyst said, but her smile said differently. Pearl hid her face with her hands. She felt like she was back to being in high school with a schoolgirl crush.

Amethyst was the first to recover, positioning herself so that she was sitting in Pearl's lap.

"What about you, Lazuli? You think about how you're gonna ask Peri out?"

Lapis' face darkened from an absolutely ecstatic smile to a frightened grimace. She pulled her knees up to her chest, burying her face in them. Amethyst knew from her friend's reaction that it was still too soon to bring this up.

"Hey, you don't gotta answer."

"I agree.." Pearl said, a sympathetic look on her face now. "You take all the time you need to dig through your feelings."

"I don't need to think about my feelings. I know what I feel." Lapis' voice was muffled as she spoke. "I love her, I know I do, I have for a long time, but.."

"Come on, she's obviously into you." It was pretty obvious to Amethyst that Peridot liked Lapis, but it was getting the blue haired girl to believe that that was the problem.

"I'm not afraid of being rejected." Lapis looked up from her knees, her smile sad. "I don't want to put any strain on our friendship, you know? She's my best friend. I helped her stop cutting, for fuck's sake." Her voice grew higher, more shrill. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears, but none would fall. Pearl and Amethyst bit their lips and shared glances as Lapis said this. If only she knew.

"I mean.." Lapis paused, taking a deep breath to steady herself, closing her eyes. "It's weird. Like, I helped her through so much, but while I helped her.. she helped me, you know? I had so many friends, but I always felt so lonely. When I asked her to dance with me, it felt like I wasn't alone anymore. Well, I was, but it's like.. my loneliness was shared. She understood me. She understood my feelings about the world, she understood why I danced, she understands why I'm taking classes. I mean, you guys get it too, but.. she feels closer, somehow."

Lapis finished her little speech with a sigh. She opened her eyes, but they were averted from the couple across from her. "I don't want to ruin that."

The silence that followed was almost deafening to the blue haired girl. She hated silence. It was louder than thunder.

"We know how you feel.."

Lapis looked up to see Pearl and Amethyst smiling at her, the taller girl having been the one to speak.

"I'd always thought that Rose was the main reason I kicked my drug addictions, but it was really Amethyst." The shorter girl blushed despite herself. "Her free spirit brought me out of my shell. Rose gave me kindness, but Amethyst gave me the other half of my being."

"Oh my god, shut up, P." Amethyst buried her face in Pearl's chest, and the taller girl only giggled. She was also glad to see that Lapis' smiled had become more genuine.

"That's a very beautiful way of voicing it."

"Well I try." The two laughed together while Amethyst turned back around.

After a couple more hours of casual conversation, Lapis decided that she should go back and see if Peridot had her 'fun' like she was instructed to. She honestly doubted it.

"Thanks for that little talk earlier.." Lapis said in the doorway to the room. "It made me feel a lot better."

"No problem." Amethyst waved Lapis' thanks away. She was a friend. It's what they do.

"It's the least we can do." Pearl added from her seat on Amethyst's bed. "Any time you need to rant, just come to us. We're all ears."

Lapis nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. Amethyst sighed, falling backwards to lay her head in Pearl's lap.

"I swear, we can start a counseling agency."

"Shut up and get naked." Amethyst looked up at Pearl in surprise, who had a hungry, feral look in her eyes. "I've been wanting to fuck you all day." Amethyst nodded, her voice weak and submissive, though her excitement was evident.

"Yes ma'am.."

* * *

Lapis tested the door knob to her and Peridot's room. She was almost disappointed to find that it was unlocked. She opened the door slowly, not wanting to make any sudden noise in case the blonde actually _was_ partaking in her own body.

Sadly, though, Peridot was just asleep. Lapis let out a sigh, making her way entirely into the room, slowly closing the door behind herself.

The blue haired girl approached her sleeping friend. Peridot was curled up in the fetal position, still dressed in her green hoodie. Lapis wondered how anyone could sleep in so many clothes.

Despite her better judgment, Lapis stared as Peridot slept. She looked so peaceful. Lapis always loved seeing her friend's sleeping face, when she could. It was the most peaceful Peridot ever was. The only other time Lapis saw such a blissful look on her friend's face was when they danced together those few years ago.

Before she knew it, lost in her thoughts, Lapis had brought face down beside Peridot's. Her kiss to the blonde's cheek was quick, nearly invisible. Just as quickly, Lapis pulled herself away from her sleeping friend. Trembling, tears dwelling in her eyes, Lapis whispered.

"Sweet dreams, Peri.."


	7. Week Two

This setting was familiar to Peridot.

The blonde was sitting on Pearl's bed, the taller girl sitting beside her with a cigarette in hand, blowing smoke out of the window. Amethyst sat opposite them, her legs crossed under her.

Amethyst was wearing a cropped tank top, black in color. Her bottoms consisted of short shorts, and her legs were covered with black stockings.

Pearl was wearing a black turtleneck along with blue jeans.

Peridot had on her usual green hoodie. She decided that since she was going to wear this until her scratches completely healed. Luckily, the weather had been cold enough for it. For bottoms, she wore pajama pants, dark green in color. All three girls were barefoot. They were having a casual conversation about the prior week's schoolwork.

"It was all too easy." Peridot said, but rather than boastful, she sounded more disappointed. "I don't understand why my instructors don't just give me harder work to do."

"Baby steps, Peri." Amethyst said, a little annoyed. She would give anything to be as smart as the blonde. Learning about anatomy, health, and psychology.. Amethyst loved it, but damn, it was hard.

"Advanced Engineering with Bessel and Fourier are baby steps. The advanced trigonometry they give me here is like I'm in middle school again."

Pearl chuckled, flicking her cigarette out of the window.

"Peridot, you're such an over-achiever."

"But I need to do harder work! It's the only thing that keeps my mind working so that I don't think about other things.." Peridot trailed off here, getting this sad look in her eye. Pearl was about to say something to try and console the blonde, but Amethyst spoke first.

"How about we just get started with your help session, huh Peri?" The blonde nodded.

Peridot had done well this past week. Though she felt panic rise in her chest on more than one occasion, the tea helped. Of course, just a drink couldn't completely take the thoughts of hurting herself away. That was impossible.

"What are you gonna do this time to help?" Peridot asked, curious. She had already emptied her fridge of the Mountain Dew she owned, save for a few bottles to escape suspicion. Even so, Peridot has been drinking nothing but water and green tea for the past week, and Amethyst was right. It did make her feel good about herself, but.. the pain from her blade still felt better.

"We're gonna have you face your problem." As Amethyst said this, Pearl was digging through the drawer of her nightstand. She pulled out Peridot's razor, having been cleaned from when Amethyst first found her in the act.

The blonde's breath hitched in her throat as Pearl held it out for her to take. "Are you sure?" Peridot asked, eyeing the blade, almost hungrily. Pearl was starting to have second thoughts about this little plan, but Amethyst nodded.

"Yeah. I'm sure you'll do fine." The blonde was surprised that so much trust was being put into her.

Slowly, she reached out and took the blade between her fingers. It felt so cold, so familiar. It was hard to not subconsciously place it against herself, but she somehow managed.

Peridot inspected the blade. It looked sharper than when she last had it.. It was beautiful, really.. in the dark sense of the word. Blades like this brought solace to troubled youths all over the world. A fearful beauty.

"What do you want me to do with this?" Peridot asked.

"You're gonna keep it. You'll put it back where you usually keep it. You'll know it's there, but for the next week, you're not going to use it."

This was Amethyst's plan. If Peridot could resist the temptation of the blade, then that would be another step to her rehabilitation. But if she couldn't, then she and Pearl would go straight to Lapis. Of course, she didn't tell Peridot this part.

"I see." Peridot wasn't very comfortable with her own self control. The past week has been torture without some sort of release..

Though, if she thought about it, it's rather odd. Peridot was perfectly fine up until a week ago, when she watched Lapis dance in the rain. The blonde had seen her crush dance like that before, so why was this any different? Why did that particular night cause Peridot's old habit to return?

"Well, thank you.. for trusting me with this."

"Well you seemed to be doing fine last week, so yeah." That was all Amethyst said.

Pearl nodded in agreement. "I'm sure you'll be just fine, Peri."

Peridot smiled at her friends.. her counselors. She pocketed the razor, making a mental note to put it in her medicine cabinet as quickly as possible. She didn't want Lapis to find it.

The rest of this little session was spent with more casual conversation. They talked about academics, what they were going to do after college, the normal stuff. Amethyst and Pearl planned on moving in together. The smaller girl was going to open her own psychiatric clinic while her girlfriend danced in competitions.

"Do you guys plan on getting married, then?" Peridot asked. Pearl and Amethyst both blushed, the taller of the two averting her eyes while amethyst smiled goofily. Pearl answered.

"We'll um.. have to see." Though by the look of their faces, Peridot had her answer. She wondered if she'd be invited to the wedding? Mrs. Quartz would probably be the one to marry the two.

"What about you?" Amethyst asked the blonde, wanting to change the center of attention away from her and her girlfriend. "Do you have any plans for the future? Maybe someone you wanna settle down with?"

Lapis immediately came to Peridot's mind. Settling down.. with her? Peridot hugged herself at her arms. She felt it.. the panic in her rising. She couldn't think about it. She didn't want to, but.. Amethyst and Pearl had been so good to her. She should tell them. She wanted to tell them.

"Hit me." She said, in barely a whisper.

"What?" The couple asked in unison.

"Hit me!" Peridot shouted now, her body shaking. She couldn't handle this. Image after image of her and Lapis flashed through her mind. It took every ounce of her will power to not tear open her pocket for the razor she was just given. Pearl was the first to get the hint.

The taller girl stood in front of Peridot and pulled back her hand. A loud smack filled the room, and the blonde's head was turned to the side, a large red mark on her cheek.

"Ow, shit!" Pearl was waving her hand back and forth. It must have stung just as much as Peridot's face did now. Amethyst would have laughed if she wasn't so worried for the blonde girl.

"Peri, you okay?" Pearl sat beside Amethyst, massaging her hand as she looked at Peridot with as much as concern as her girlfriend.

It took a few seconds for the pain to register in Peridot's mind. She closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she turned her head back to the couple, rubbing her burning cheek.

"Your hand is so bony, Pearl."

The taller girl giggled, finally resting her stinging hand on Amethyst's leg. "I thought it'd help. Amethyst's hands are far too soft. And you're one to talk. My hand hurts."

"What, is my face not as soft as Amethyst's ass?"

The girls laughed together. The tension in the air was gone, and Peridot felt much better.. After the laughter in the room died down, Peridot let out a sigh. It was now or never.

"It's Lapis."

Pearl's face changed from laughing in amusement to one of utter shock and astonishment. Amethyst, on the other hand, was practically beaming.

"I fucking knew it."

Peridot chuckled, hugging herself at the arms again. She felt fine, though. Now that she admitted her feelings to someone, it felt.. easier to talk and think about it. At least, to the couple in front of her.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Peri, every time you see Lapis, your expression changes. I'm a Health major. It's easy to see these things."

"Maybe to you!" Pearl half shouted, laughing in disbelief. "Amethyst told me you were into Lapis, but I couldn't believe it. I always thought you were asexual."

"Am I really _that_ anti-social?" Peridot asked, a mock scowl on her face.

"It's not that you're anti-social." Pearl started, a little embarrassed now that her assumption had been proven wrong. "You're just so.. analytical. You don't seem like the type for romance."

"I can understand that." It was true that Peridot was cold and calculating. Still, she wasn't a machine.

"Well, Peri.." Amethyst started, feeling absolutely giddy. "Have I got something to tell you."

* * *

Lapis is sitting in her and Peridot's room. On Peridot's computer, the blue haired girl was checking out the games that her friend was so fond of. So far, none of them interested her, except maybe Undertale. She's heard that the game was rather beautiful, not in graphics, but in the sheer story and music of the game. Maybe Peridot would let her try the game out.

Of course, Lapis wasn't on the computer without permission. When Peridot announced that she was going to hang out with Pearl and Amethyst this morning, the blue haired girl had asked to see what the hoopla was about the internet.

Before Lapis checked Peridot's games, where she is now, she surfed the web. YouTube, Facebook, Twitter.. she didn't make any accounts, of course. She was just checking things out. What surprised Lapis most was that there was so much nudity on the internet. No wonder people loved their computers so much.

Lesbian porn, gay porn, interracial porn, bestiality, incest, fisting.. Lapis was surprised that there were so many ways to have sex, even with animals, no less. She shuddered at the thought. Not that it was disgusting.. as long as the animal isn't hurt in the process, what's the problem? No, what made her feel uncomfortable is the fact that some people actually feel good. A dog penis just didn't look pleasurable at all.

Back to the present, Lapis had just read the description of Town of Salem when Peridot came through the door. Lapis turned, her head resting on her hand with her elbow on the desk as she greeted her friend.

"Hey Peri, have fun?"

Peridot didn't answer. She just walked past Lapis and sat down on her bed. Her face was so.. stoic. Emotionless.

Lapis was starting to get scared. Why was Peridot being so silent?

"Hey.. you okay?"

"Are you in love with anyone?"

Lapis was taken aback. Did she here Peridot right? No, no she's sure she heard right. "Why do you ask?" This was so odd. When has Peridot ever been interested in whether Lapis liked anyone or not? The blonde sighed, turning to look eye to eye with her friend.

"Because I am, and I want to tell you who. But I need you to answer my question first."

So Peridot was in love with someone? Guess that throws Lapis' dreams out the window. She grabbed her arm, averting her eyes with a sad smile.

"Yeah, I do love someone."

"What's this person like?"

Lapis chuckled, feeling the tears form in her eyes. She couldn't let Peridot see her like this. She stood from the chair she was in, turning her back to the blonde, trying to sound nonchalant as she described her best friend.

"She's.. she's very beautiful. She's very smart, at the top of the school, even. She always complained about not having hard enough schoolwork, about not being able to show her full potential." Lapis paused, taking a deep breath before she continued, leaning against the desk.

"I find her adorable, in that aspect. Always the over-achiever. But she's so nice. No matter how much shit she goes through, whether her computer game crashes or if someone insults her for being so smart. She's never mean to anyone. Off putting, yeah, but never mean."

"She sounds wonderful." Peridot commented.

"Oh, she is." Lapis giggled, turning to finally face Peridot, tears running freely down her face. "She's my best frie-"

Lapis was cut off as the blonde wrapped her arms around her. The blue haired girl didn't get to say anything else. Her shoulder was getting warmer, wet from fresh tears. Peridot was shaking as she cried against Lapis. Her voice was weak when she spoke.

"I love you, Lapis."


	8. Week Three

Peridot's eyes opened slowly that morning. Blinking a few times, she looked around the room. Every time since that day, it looked so.. different. First of all, she had a reason to see things differently. Second.. her reason was still asleep in the separate bed on the other side of the room. It was so surreal.

It had been a week since Peridot and Lapis confessed to each other. Well, Amethyst and Pearl confessed for Lapis, but you get the idea. Peridot was supposed to be meeting the couple again later that day. They were going to be incredibly disappointed.

* * *

**Last Week**

"I love you, Lapis."

Peridot said this as she cried in Lapis' shoulder. These tears weren't sad at all. In fact, they were incredibly happy. But that was the problem.

The blonde felt her panic rising rapidly. She just.. she doesn't think she can handle this. Her emotions were out of control. She needed to calm down, she had to calm down!

"I love you too."

_**God dammit Lapis!**_ Peridot pulled away, smiling widely a she wiped her tears, which were only replaced with new ones. Though she was smiling, every fiber of her being was screaming at her. She felt as if she were going to have a heart attack.

"I-I'm sorry to.. ruin the moment, b-but.." Peridot spoke between sobs, and Lapis' own teary face had a wide smile. She thought Peridot was so adorable. "..I n-need to use the b-bathroom."

"Go right ahead, Peri.." Lapis stepped to the side and Peridot wasted no time rushing to the restroom.

After closing the door behind her, locking it, the blonde immediately pulled her razor given to her by Amethyst from her pocket. She just.. didn't fucking care anymore.

Peridot stripped herself of her hoodie and her tee shirt, leaving her in just her bra and pajamas. It would take far too long to rip the bandages from her arm.

Peridot began slicing at her skin, doing her best to keep her breath from becoming too loud. She made several scratches across the top of her breasts, and even more cuts along her stomach. She cut her body, again and again until she calmed down. Her breath became long, deep, controlled.

The blonde watched as her blood flowed from her body, staining her bra and waistband of her pajamas. She should be angry with herself, but the pain just felt too good. She was calm now.

Peridot had to act quickly, or the blood would stain too much of her clothing. Lapis would notice.

After washing the blade of her blood and putting it in the back of the medicine cabinet, the blonde grabbed a wash cloth from under the bathroom sink, wetting it. She began to wipe the blood from her body. In her wild movements, Peridot cut herself more deeply than she did on her arm. She was going to have to use alcohol to clean herself up.

Peridot grabbed the bottle from under the sink along with some cotton balls. After cleaning the blood from her body with the wet cloth, she put some alcohol on a cotton ball and placed it to one of her wounds. She let out a hiss through her breath. It hurt like a bitch.

Peridot repeated this for all of the cuts she made, then put the alcohol back under the sink while putting the cotton ball in the toilet. She had to get rid of it this way.

Finally, she grabbed the bandages from the medicine cabinet that Amethyst used to wrap around Peridot's arm. Peridot wrapped the bandages around her body, being sure to tie them tightly. There could be no lumps under her clothes.

After Peridot finally got her body cleaned of blood and bandaged, she dressed herself again. She would have to secretly wash her bra and pajamas later that night. Luckily, her hoodie was just long enough to cover the pajama waistband. She flushed the toilet, getting rid of the cotton ball.

Lapis was sitting on the bed, her head hung low. She had been thinking about what just occurred. It was like a dream come true, but.. would this relationship be good for them? She looked up, smiling as Peridot came out of the bathroom.

"Hey. How ya feeling?"

Peridot smiled widely, feeling content. She would deal with her little problem when she talked to Pearl and Amethyst next week. Now, she should just enjoy the fact that Lapis was in front of her, and that they loved each other.

"I feel better than ever."

* * *

**Now**

Peridot stood in front of Pearl and Amethyst's door. The cuts on her arm had finally healed, so she was able to now just wear her light green tee shirt, after she removed the bandages of course. Now the only wounds that needed to heal were the ones on the front of her body. She knocked on the door.

"Come in, Peri."

Amethyst and Pearl had gotten used to the blonde visiting them. Hell, they were the one who instructed it in the first place. Peridot opened the door, allowing herself in the room.

Amethyst was laying on her back in her bed while Pearl sat on her own bed near the window, her usual cigarette in hand. Peridot was surprised to see that Garnet was in the room as well leaning against the wall.. along with Rose Quartz, acting dean of Diamond University, who was sitting beside Pearl.

Rose was in a very formal looking dress, completely white in color, with frills around the bottom. Peridot wondered why she never wore anything else, but she had a feeling that no other outfit would suit the large woman.

Garnet was wearing a maroon tank top covered by a black leather jacket. Her pants were also leather, and she was wearing boots. Oddly enough, Garnet was the only one wearing shoes. Even Rose was barefoot.

"Hello Peridot. How are you today?" Pearl asked, flicking some ash out the window.

"I'm fine. Why are Garnet and Mrs. Quartz here?"

"We're here because we want to help, too." Garnet said, removing her sunglasses, looking at Peridot with concern. If the blonde didn't know better, she would think that Garnet wore those just for this dramatic affect.

"Yes.." Rose added. "Pearl and Amethyst told Garnet everything, and Garnet told me. I think that what you're doing, trying to get help, is a wonderful thing. I want to help you as well."

Peridot sighed. She didn't want so many people to know what she did. At least they kept this information from Jasper. That brute would probably lose her shit and beat up the blonde for cutting herself.

"So.." Amethyst started sitting up from her position on the bed. "Do you have it?"

Slowly, Peridot reached into her pajama pocket and pulled out the infamous razor blade. She walked forward, placing it in Amethyst's outstretched hand.

Everyone in the room smiled. Peridot got rid of it so easily, without hesitation. It seems she finally kicked her habit.

"I used it the day you gave it to me."

Everyone's smile immediately went sour. Peridot backed away from Amethyst after giving her the razor, looking at everyone in the room.

Amethyst and Pearl had the same look of disappointment on their faces, as if they had failed a very important task. Garnet looked stoic. Peridot found it hard to get a read on her. And Rose.. well she just looked sad.

"I'm not going to make any excuses." Peridot started, calm and complex. "But I can say that I'll never touch the razor again. I know I won't."

"How do you know that?" Rose asked. Her voice was so calm, almost soothing.. understanding.

"Because I haven't used it since. I, um.." Peridot paused, a small blush rising in her cheeks. She was fine telling Pearl and Amethyst, but Garnet and Rose were a different story.

"I told Lapis how I feel. We're together now."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Rose said with enthusiasm. Garnet gave the dean a rather stern look, but Rose didn't seem to notice, or pretended not to. In her mind, being supportive in anything helped. And it did.

"Heh, yeah." Peridot chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. "I want to apologize, first of all. It happened last week."

The blonde prepared to go into her explanation, and everyone listened intently.

"When.. when Pearl and Amethyst told me that Lapis had feelings for me after I had told them I had feelings for her, I went back to our room and confessed. She reciprocated my feelings. It was after that moment that I injured myself."

At this, Peridot grabbed the hem of her tee shirt, pulling it over her head and off of her body. Gasps filled the room as everyone saw the red marks on Peridot's body. There were almost too many to count. Peridot had removed her bandages earlier, as her cuts had scabbed over. There was no need for the bandages anymore. Peridot continued.

"I was so overcome with emotion. It was hard to think, hard to breathe. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack." The blonde looked down at her hand, her other hand holding onto her shirt. "I've never felt so alive afterwards. When I came out of the bathroom, and Lapis was sitting there, waiting on me because she thought I was.. you know, actually _using_ the bathroom, I felt so happy." Peridot closed her hand, looking back up at everyone watching her.

"I felt so happy, but not once this week have I felt the need to hurt myself. I'm still happy.. happy to be with her. And I don't think that I'll be doing anything else to my body."

She stopped talking. Peridot was finished.

Everyone was silent, for a time. In this silence, Peridot put her shirt back on her body. She felt no shame, no disappointment in herself. Even though she had a moment of weakness the week before, the blonde felt that she would be strong from now on. She was sure of it.

"So you're telling us.." Amethyst started, standing up from her bed. "..that you think that you're completely cured, that your little episode after confessing to Lapis was your last one, that you feel like everything is fine and dandy, because we told you that Lapis liked you." Peridot nodded.

"..I'm gonna be a damn good psychiatrist."

These words brought everyone from their silence. Pearl smiled widely behind her mouth, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Garnet smiled in satisfaction, though in her mind, she was still skeptical. You never know for sure. Amethyst had her hands on her hips, her own lips pulled into a wide smile. And Rose.. she stood up and walked forward, wrapping her arms around Peridot.

"I'm so proud that you think that.. But if you ever feel like you need help again, we'll always be here for you."

Peridot returned the hug to the large woman, sighing in the embrace. Normally, when she felt emotion, that familiar panic would rise in her chest. But that panic was replaced with a much stronger, warmer feeling.. All Peridot had to do was accept that her emotions were inevitable.

There is no one on this planet that can escape their feelings. To feel is one of the best parts about being human. Sadness, happiness, anger.. it was all necessary, Peridot knew that now.

"Thank you." Peridot whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "Thank you all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you guys freak out, this chapter is NOT the end of the story. But the chapter after this will be. Thank you all again for the support you've given me by reading my work. I couldn't ask for anything more.


	9. Week Two, Seven Day Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter DOES contain explicit sexual content. I've placed a little warning for anyone who might want to skip that scene.

**Day 1: Saturday**

"I feel better than ever."

As Peridot said this, Lapis stood from the bed, coming to hug the blonde once again. They stayed in this embrace for much longer of a time, just enjoying the presence they gave to each other. Oddly enough, as Peridot held Lapis tightly to her body, she felt.. good.

There was no panic rising within her. Though she felt different waves of emotion at this very moment, Peridot was content. Why was this? The answer didn't matter. She was just glad that she didn't feel that way anymore.. for now, at least.

Lapis was the first to pull away, staring lovingly into Peridot's eyes. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, but riddled with happiness.

"So.. are we a thing now?"

Peridot nodded quickly, her smile wide. "Yeah. Yeah, I think we are."

The two girls hugged once more, laughing together. This was possibly the best moment that either of them could ever think of.

"I love you." Lapis whispered, sighing in Peridot's neck. Peridot chuckled, her fingers gently running through blue hair.

"I love you too."

The rest of the day was absolutely wonderful. The two danced together in their room, their bodies in sync with one another. Of course, Peridot was far out of practice, but it was all in good fun.

After dancing, their breath heavy, the girls stared in each others eyes. Lapis' deep blue eyes made Peridot feel as if she were drowning in a sea of calm and happiness. And Lapis felt that, looking in Peridot's green eyes, she was flying through the skies of the blonde's mind, experiencing every intellectual thought that Peridot had, and added her own emotional touch to each thought. They completed one another.. and they wouldn't have it any other way.

"So.." Peridot broke the silence, taking a deep breath. She had forgotten to breathe. Lapis' eyes really were drowning her. "What were you doing on my computer?"

Lapis looked behind herself at the desktop, which was still open to Town of Salem. "I was just checking out your games. That game doesn't seem like you though."

"It's actually got tons of strategy in it." Peridot explained, sitting Lapis at the desk while she stood, instructing the blue haired girl about the game. "You see, there are many different roles where you're the serial killer, mafia, or a towns-person.."

* * *

**Day 2. Sunday**

Lapis was the first to wake up today. She had suggested she and Peridot sleep in the same bed, but Peridot declined, claiming it was a bit too soon to sleep together, no matter how much she wanted to. She wanted the relationship to go slowly.

Peridot was so happy the day before that she was completely calm when she fell asleep in her bed, forgetting about the dangers of Lapis finding her bandages around her midsection.. and sure enough, Peridot's shirt had risen up her body as she slept. She had removed her bandages on her arm the night before and found no need for a hoodie anymore. The cuts there had healed. They were just shallow, after all.

Lapis didn't see this at first. She was far too busy staring her best friend's, now girlfriend's beautiful sleeping face.

It seemed so weird, though It all happened so quickly. The confessions, the hugging.. it's as if nothing had changed.

Lapis stood up from her bed, stretching. Well, thinking about it now, Peridot probably didn't want to sleep in the same bed because the blue haired girl slept in her underwear. Lapis giggled at the thought, looking at Peridot again.

But this time, Lapis did notice something other than her girlfriend's face. She knew Peridot was pale, but she wasn't _this_ pale, was she?

Lapis bent got on her knees on the side of Peridot's bed. Slowly, she lifted the blonde's shirt, just a little. What Lapis had thought was paler skin were actually bandages. Why did Peridot need these?

Did Peridot get injured somehow? Was she being bullied? Jasper couldn't have done this, could she? No, she was too busy training for the female football league. Really, she could try out for the male team if she wanted. The tanned behemoth of a girl was plenty stronger than most men, but that didn't matter at the moment. Why was Peridot in bandages?

The blonde stirred and Lapis immediately backed away from her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, looking up at Lapis. Peridot smiled.

"Good morning.."

Lapis didn't answer.

"Hey, you okay?" Peridot chuckled nervously. Why was Lapis looking at her so intently?

"Are you being bullied?"

"What? No." Peridot was astonished. Why would the blue haired girl think such a thing?

"Why are you wearing bandages?"

Peridot's eyes instantly moved to her stomach. Sure enough, her shirt was riding up her body. She pulled the clothing down quickly, standing from the bed and backing away from Lapis. The blue haired girl was so confused. Why was Peridot acting so afraid?

"Peri..?" Lapis walked forward, intending to put a comforting hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. They could work through whatever this was together.

"Don't touch me!" Peridot yelled, forcing Lapis to stop in her tracks. Peridot put her back against the wall, sinking down until she was sitting. She spoke again, her voice quiet.

"I'll tell you, just.. just don't touch me."

"..okay." Lapis sat in front of Peridot, bringing her knees up to her chest, hugging them. She wondered why Peridot had these bandages on her, though in the back of her mind, she could probably guess.

_Please.. please don't let that be the case._

Peridot took a few minutes to compose herself. She was trying to think of an excuse, something easily able to be believed in, but she couldn't. She just had to hope that Lapis wouldn't hate her..

"Two weeks ago, I watched you dance in the rain." Lapis opened her mouth to speak, but held her tongue. She would wait until the end of Peridot's explanation.

"You were so.. captivating. I couldn't stop staring at you. I mean, I knew I loved you for a long time, but that night, my emotions just grew to be too much."

This was it. Lapis knew where this was going. Peridot had cut herself again. Lapis felt hurt, betrayed, even. But most of all, she felt horrible for her girlfriend. She was the cause of Peridot's self harm.

"I.. I cut myself in the bathroom. My left arm. I lied to you. I wasn't sick." Lapis could have guessed this, but allowed Peridot to continue.

"I did it again the next day, after our little party with Amethyst."

"It was because I told you I had a secret, wasn't it?" Lapis just couldn't contain herself at this point. She had to know. Peridot reluctantly nodded.

"Yeah.. Amethyst found me doing it when she came to get your water. She and Pearl have been my counselors since then. I visited them these last two Saturdays."

"So that's why you woke up so early in the morning."

"Yeah.. they helped me, somewhat. Got me into that green tea stuff last week to make me feel better about my body, and it helped a little. They also took the razor I used."

Lapis would have to thank Amethyst and Pearl for that later.

"They gave it back to me yesterday."

And now Lapis would have to murder the couple.

"Why the hell would they do that?"

Lapis' tone of voice caused Peridot to flinch. She curled herself up tighter in her ball, ashamed of her actions.

"They.. thought they could trust me. I thought I could trust myself too." Peridot took a deep breath before continuing.

"But, when I told them that I loved you, and they said you loved me.. I was so, so hopeful. I came back here as quickly as I could."

Lapis could guess what happened next. She was part of it, after all.

"When we confessed to each other, I was so happy, but I couldn't breathe. I felt like.. like I was having a heart attack, or a stroke, or something! I went in the bathroom and.. well, you know."

"Yeah.." Lapis knew. Peridot had cut her stomach. But that was just from what the blue haired girl saw. What all had Peridot actually done?

"Show me."

"What?" Peridot looked up at Lapis, who stood from where she sat. Her face was stern, but not cold. Lapis wasn't capable of showing anything but kindness.

"I said show me." Lapis' tone meant that there would be no objections. And there weren't.

Peridot stood from where she sat, slowly slipping her fingers under the hem of her shirt. She pulled off the green fabric, revealing her bandages on her stomach. Lapis' breath hitched, but only when she saw what Peridot had done to her breasts.

The blonde's chest was covered with her bra, but just above the bra line were multiple cuts and scratches, some still bleeding. Peridot couldn't figure out how to bandage her chest without restricting movement of her shoulders and arms.. so she left the cuts open after cleaning them.

"Oh Peri.." Lapis felt horrible for Peridot. All of this happened because of her. Slowly, she brought a hand forward. Peridot didn't move, allowing Lapis to run her soft, slender fingers across the cuts on her chest. They felt so rough. "I'm so sorry for making you do this."

"You don't get to say that." Peridot said, gently taking Lapis' hand in her own. She pulled her closing, bring their faces closer together. "It was my stupid problem in the first place."

And then they kissed.

The rest of the day was spent with cuddles and video games. Peridot turned her desktop so that the screen faced her bed, and she and Lapis played Call of Duty together. Of course, Peridot went easy on the blue haired girl.

She tried making her wins seem close, and her losses seem closer. Though, with some persuading from her girlfriend, Peridot went all out, completely destroying Lapis. The two girls laughed, sharing kiss after kiss. Each one was small, but they were significant in their own right. These small pecks to their lips spoke wonders of love that words alone would not be able to express.

Lapis wanted to talk about Peridot's cuts more, but she believed that they could enjoy themselves first. At least for a few days.

* * *

 

**Day 3. Monday**

Peridot was glad that the week's class started. As much as she loved spending time with Lapis, she was afraid that her girlfriend would want to ask more questions. But this schoolwork along with the homework they were sure to get would keep them both busy. Well, at least it would keep Lapis busy.

As usual, Peridot finished the equations she was given in her Advanced Trigonometry class. The instructor would always get so angry when the blonde left early, but he couldn't do anything about it. Peridot was the best student in the class, in the entire school, even, and that was infuriating to most of the teachers. She was a prodigy, but didn't need their instruction. The only exception who didn't hate Peridot was Rose Quartz.

Aside from this, Peridot made her way back to her dorm room. She had worn pants and a tee shirt today, wanting to be casual with a sense of formality. She felt that this look best suited her for school.

On her way to the dorm room, she found Jasper. The brutish girl was banging on the side of a vending machine, swearing under her breath.

"One day.. one fucking day I wanna treat myself and this fucking-"

Hit.

"-piece of shit-"

Hit.

"-won't give me my god damned-"

She kicked the machine.

"-skittles!"

Peridot grinned, walking up to the taller girl. It was always amusing to see the tanned athlete on her temper tantrums.

"Hello Jasper. Having some trouble?"

"Nah.. this cunt rag ain't worth it. Fucking waste of money." Jasper acknowledged the blonde without looking at her, giving the machine one last kick.

"So you already punched the numbers in for what you wanted?" Peridot asked, ignoring the taller girl's decline for help.

"Yeah.. what of it?"

"Just unplug the machine and plug it back in. The machine will pick up on the last pattern entered and will automatically vend that item."

Jasper didn't say a word, turning to finally look at Peridot. For just a few seconds, she stared at the shorter girl. Then she walked to the side of the machine, getting on her hands and knees to reach behind it. She pulled the plug from the wall and replaced it, as Peridot instructed.

Sure enough, the machine whirred to life and Jasper collected her snack after it fell. Opening the pack, the taller girl laughed.

"Peri, I could kiss you right now."

Peridot chuckled, making her way passed the athlete back on the way to her dorm room. She began climbing the stairs, and was followed by Jasper. "Sorry, Jasper. This girl is taken."

"Don't lie to me, you bitch." Jasper scolded with a laugh.

Peridot pouted, faking hurt feelings. "I'm serious. Don't you believe me?"

"Please, the day you get a date is the day a monkey pops out of my ass."

"Well then I hope you don't mind anal.. or bestiality."

As the girls rounded the corner of the floor just a couple flights down from Peridot's room, they ran into Lapis, who seemed to be out of breath.

"Hey Peri, Jasper, I was just headed to my Marine Biology class. Just finished dance recital."

"Did you get out early too?" Peridot asked, not surprised. Lapis was an amazing dancer.

"Yeah. Pearl's way more dedicated to the class than I am. I love dancing, but it's more of a hobby. I'm thinking of quitting it so I can focus on my other classes. I love the ocean."

"More than me?" Peridot teased, raising an eyebrow. Lapis smirked and gave Peridot a quick peck to the lips.

"As if. Anyway, I gotta get going. Love you." Lapis kissed Peridot again before turning to Jasper. "Later Jasper. Good luck in your game this Friday." And then she was off.

Peridot watched her girlfriend go, and when she was out of sight, she looked up at Jasper with a smirk. The athlete looked like a statue, in the midst of putting a purple skittle in her mouth. When the shock finally passed, she sighed, eating the skittle.

"I can already feel that monkey."

Peridot laughed, continuing her walk up the stairs to her dorm. "I told you! And you wouldn't believe me."

"Honestly, I didn't think you were the type for relationships. And you're gay? Go figure."

"Yeah, I got that a lot. Just don't tell the others about me and Lapis yet. I wanna tell them myself. I'm meeting with Amethyst and Pearl this Saturday."

"Why, helping them with homework?"

"Something like that."

When the two girls reached Peridot's room, Jasper bid farewell to the blonde. Peridot waved at the athlete and entered her room, sighing.

Peridot leaned against her door after closing it behind her. Today was a good day so far.

No panic had risen within her, even after kissing Lapis in front of Jasper. She felt so.. content. For a long time, Peridot felt as if being at peace was impossible. But now, that's all she felt. The calm before the storm, so to speak. Except that storm was more like a light rain, and Peridot was dancing under the heavenly shower with Lapis in her arms.

Maybe Peridot **_was_** over her problem. Still, it was far too soon to be certain.

The blonde spent the next few hours playing her video games until her nightly class of computer mechanics. She already knew her desktop inside and out, but she felt the need to learn as much as she can about as many systems as she can. Who knows? Perhaps she'd be the next Bill Gates.

This thought brought a smile to her face, and that smile to a victorious shout as she finally killed the person that was camping beside her customized spawn point.

"Yeah, fuck you! That's what you get, you fucking twat!"

This was yelled as Lapis walked through the door, and the blue haired girl couldn't help but giggle at Peridot's outburst. The blonde didn't even notice that her girlfriend had entered the room.

Lapis slowly closed the door behind her, so as not to disturb Peridot. She placed her Marine Biology book under her bed, along with her Oceanography book. She was done with classes for the day. She was also positive that Peridot had at least an hour until her class started as well. Now what could they do in an hour?

Lapis walked up behind Peridot at her desk. Slowly, she bent down, draping her arms over the blonde's body. Normally, you'd think that anyone would freak out, or jump at such sudden contact. But Peridot, well.. it was as if she could tell that the arms now draped over her belonged to Lapis before she even felt them.

"Watcha doing, babe?" Lapis asked, her breath hot on Peridot's ear. "You kicking ass?"

"You know it. I just put down the fucker that was camping near my spawn point. Shows him I'm a force to be reckoned with."

Lapis giggled, kissing Peridot's cheek before pulling away from her. She decided to go ahead and get dressed for bed.

"I'm gonna change, Peri.. so no peeking."

"Of course not."

Lapis was just teasing her girlfriend. Even if she didn't tell Peridot that she was changing, the blonde would still have her eyes glued to that computer screen. She began to strip herself of her top and her skirt.

Though, on the contrary, Peridot's face was beet red.

Why would Lapis tell Peridot that she was changing? She wasn't going to look, either way, but why? Is it a tease? Maybe Lapis was actually provoking the blonde to watch her girlfriend change? Lapis changed in front of Peridot before and didn't care at all. Was it because they were a couple now?

Peridot could hear the clothes rustling behind her.. Lapis was really changing.

It was embarrassing for the blonde when Lapis first changed in front of her, but this was a completely different type of embarrassment. Why?

Peridot found herself staring in her computer screen, trying to get a glimpse of Lapis' naked torso. Though, the shadow in the screen was too dark. It was only a silhouette. Perhaps it would be more clear if Peridot turned off her game and monitor.

"All done."

Well, Peridot wasn't gonna get to do that anyway.

"Not getting ready for bed already, are you?" Peridot asked, having just finished her game and turned in her chair to look at Lapis, resting her arm on the back of it. The blue haired girl was dressed in her tee shirt and panties, as she usually dressed in when sleeping.

Lapis sat on her bed, crossing her legs. Her smile was kind of.. unnerving.

"Well, I was thinking.. you have an hour until your class starts." Lapis started twirling a strand of her hair with her finger. "You wanna.. come to bed till then?"

Peridot was taken aback. Did Lapis mean what Peridot thought she meant?

At the look on her girlfriend's face, Lapis became a bit flustered herself. Was it too soon? Of course it was!

"I-I mean.." The blue haired girl's face glowed with a blush as she averted her eyes. "Just to cuddle, you know? I mean, we just got together yesterday, so.."

Stupid stupid stupid! Lapis was completely enraged with herself. It was too soon, way too soon! They literally got together the day before, and Lapis already offered sex? What the fuck is wrong with her?!

Peridot's giggling brought Lapis from her thoughts as she looked back up at her blonde girlfriend.

"Yeah.. yeah, I'd like to cuddle."

Peridot thought that it was rather adorable, the way that Lapis corrected herself. She stood from her desk, coming to give a quick kiss to her girlfriend before crawling in bed alongside her.

Lapis laughed herself as she wrapped her arms around Peridot, holding her closely. The two girls sighed in their embrace on the bed. This was nice.

* * *

 

**Day 4. Tuesday**

This morning played out just as the day before did, though instead of Jasper being angry at a vending machine, she stood there, waiting on Peridot while chewing on a nutritional bar.

Peridot had left her class early again. Perhaps she'd be able to request a more difficult course. Then she saw Jasper at the vending machine.

"Having more trouble?" She asked, walking up to the athlete, who shook her head.

"Nah, I was actually waiting on you."

"Not planning to try and steal me from Lapis, are you?"

Jasper laughed at this. "As if. You're too scrawny for my tastes."

"I'll try to take that as a compliment."

Peridot started walking passed Jasper, who followed the blonde.

"If you don't need my help for anything, then what do you want?"

"Can't I walk with a friend?"

"...you wanna ask me about the sex, don't you?"

"You can read me like a book, Peri."

Peridot sighed, though continued to walk. Jasper expected a stop and a burst of rage. Seeing the nerd act so calm was kinda creepy.

"There's nothing to talk about. Lapis and I just got together a couple days ago, I don't think sex will happen any time soon. I dunno if it's for me, anyways."

"Don't knock it till you try it.. it's a great stress reliever."

"I don't wanna hear about it." Peridot really didn't care about Jasper's sexual experiences. Pearl and Amethyst were easier to imagine in that scenario than this brute of a woman.

"Even if it was Garnet that I fucked?" Now that made Peridot stop in her tracks.

"You're fucking with me. You hate each other!"

"It's a.. mutual understanding." Jasper's smirk was wide, glad to finally get a reaction from the nerdy girl. It was always fun to see her face like this. "Yeah, we get at each others throats, but I can't deny.. she's great in bed. And that fight for dominance? Always a turn on."

"Oh my god." Peridot started walking, if just to clear her head. Now she couldn't stop imagining Jasper and Garnet's sweaty bodies curled on each other as they fought to be on top.. actually, that imagery wasn't so bad to her. Garnet was rather attractive, and along with Jasper.. She had to admit, the thought of the two most athletic girls in the school tumbling over each other in a sweaty, entirely lustful fuck fest was a turn on.

"I know, too much info, but damn. You'd be surprised at what that bitch can do."

"Oh I bet."

Peridot finally made it to her room, and Jasper said goodbye as she left for her own room. Peridot closed her door, taking a deep breath. Damn that Jasper..

Peridot took many deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. The sexual tension would not get to her. She wanted to wait at least a month before she actually did anything intimate with Lapis. Then again, they've been friends for many years. Maybe she could wait a few days rather than a month.

Peridot decided to take a shower to cool herself down. Literally. She entered the bathroom and turned on the water in the tub, making sure that it was cold. Not cold enough to be freezing, but just cold enough to push any thoughts of sex away from the blonde's mind. After getting the water to the right temperature, she closed the curtains and turned on the shower.

Peridot stripped herself of her clothing, and when she had finished, she looked at herself in the mirror. The cuts above her breasts had finally stopped bleeding, completely scabbing over. The razor that caused these injuries was just behind the mirror she was staring into.

Slowly, Peridot unwrapped the bandages around her stomach. These cuts on her midsection were much deeper than the ones on her chest. Though they didn't bleed as Peridot revealed them, they did look absolutely horrible, as if any little movement would open them up again. She would have to replace these bandages with new ones.

After removing her contacts and placing them in their case from the medicine cabinet, she stepped into the shower, sighing as the cool water rushed over her body. It felt good, and helped more than she thought it would. Even the cuts on her body felt better at the water's touch.

Her usually upright hair flattened against her skull as it grew wet. She liked it when it was like this. It was too much of a hassle to take care of when dry. Maybe she should try getting some conditioner.

The blonde began to wash herself, sure to scrub gently against her scratches. She needed to be soft with them, so as not to disturb the scabbing. After she finished washing her body, enjoying how the cold water felt against her skin, she turned off the shower.

Peridot stepped out of the tub, grabbing a towel from the bathroom closet. As she dried her hair, she took another look at herself in the mirror.

Peridot knew that she was attractive. When she used all of her medication, at least. She thought she looked better when she wore her glasses instead of her contacts, though.

Aside from her face, Peridot felt that her body was rather well proportioned. She had firm, B cup breasts, her butt was of average size, and she was thin. It was odd, considering how much Mountain Dew she drank before Pearl and Amethyst got her into green tea. She must have good genes.

Peridot began to dry the rest of her body. Afterwards, she began to dress herself, choosing to just wear her pajama bottoms and white bra. Putting on a tee shirt would risk opening her cuts again. She applied new bandages around her midsection, making sure they were tight. Towel around her shoulders, she walked out of the bathroom. Lapis was sitting on her bed, studying out of her Oceanography book. She looked up from it when Peridot exited the bathroom.

"Hey Peri. You uh, gonna put on a shirt?" It was obvious that the blue haired girl was surprised to see her girlfriend shirtless. Peridot, of all people?

"Nah.. I don't want to disturb my cuts, you know?" Peridot grabbed her glasses off of her desk, putting them on.

"Oh.. yeah. You look pretty in your glasses. And your hair looks great when it's down like that."

"You think so?" Peridot asked, a small blush on her face as she sat on her bed.

"Yeah. It's cute."

"Thanks."

Lapis bit her lip. She didn't want to bring this subject back up. Really, she just wished that they could forget the whole ordeal. But it couldn't be dodged forever.

"So, um.. have you done it lately? You know.. cut yourself?"

Peridot shook her head, smiling. "No. I haven't done it since we confessed to each other. I haven't wanted to do it either."

Lapis was relieved, to say the least. It seemed as if Peridot was telling the truth, as well. She was shirtless, after all. It would be simple to spot a new scratch, but not one was to be seen.

"I'm glad. It, uh.. kinda hurts to know you did that again." Lapis closed her book, pushing it to the side. She wasn't in the mood for studying. "I mean, it hurt when you did it a few years ago too, but.. I dunno, it just feels worse this time." The blue haired girl brought her knees against her chest, averting her eyes from Peridot's.

"But, it hurt more when I found out you lied about it, you know? I'm your best friend, your girlfriend. You're supposed to come to me with your problems. I feel, I dunno.. betrayed."

Peridot listened patiently. She knew this would happen. She knew this would happen, and she still lied. The blonde had hoped to conceal her problem from everyone. But then she hoped to get better without Lapis' knowledge when Amethyst caught her cutting herself. That didn't work, though. Eventually, Lapis found out, and now she felt further away from Peridot than before. Even if they were together, and loved each other with a passion, the lies were just too much, especially on such a touchy subject.

Sighing, Peridot stood from her bed, bending down to grab a small box from under her bed. Peridot stood back up, coming to place the box in front of Lapis.

The blue haired girl stared at the box, then looked up at her girlfriend, who was smiling.

"We'll talk more about this later. You need to get rid of some stress."

Lapis smiled back, wiping a tear from her eye with a chuckle.

"Cheeky bitch.. get out."

Peridot shrugged her shoulders, making her way out of the room while Lapis opened the box that held her pink bullet vibrator.

Now, what was Peridot to do while Lapis did her thing? Maybe she could visit Pearl and Amethyst, hang out with the couple for a bit. Then again, Peridot was still shirtless. And her cuts were out in the open. Yeah, she should have thought better about this. Maybe Lapis wasn't naked yet? Peridot knocked on the door.

"Come in." Came a slightly annoyed voice.

Good. Lapis wouldn't have said that if she wasn't decent. Peridot opened the door, smiling apologetically at her girlfriend, who had already shed her skirt and was covering her breasts with her arm.

"Hey, sorry. Just need to get a top."

"Well hurry up. Babe, I love you, but seriously."

"I know, I know." Peridot hurried to the closet, grabbing her hoodie and draping it over herself. This soft fabric was less likely to disturb her cuts. She made her way to the door, but stopped to look back at Lapis.

"Hey. Love you too." And she was out the door.

Lapis smiled despite herself. But, finally alone, she began to treat her body to a much needed release.

Peridot sighed as she leaned against her door. Lapis was pretty much nude, but at least she covered herself. The blonde didn't know what she'd do if that weren't the case.

She could hear Lapis. Her light moaning, her gasping.. It was so odd, but.. alluring. Peridot had to leave. So she did, making her way to Pearl and Amethyst's room. Hopefully, they wouldn't be in such a situation.

* * *

**Day 5. Wednesday**

Peridot and Lapis were both free of classes today. The two decided to go on a date, walking around the park that was a few blocks away from the college. Actually, Lapis had to convince Peridot to do so. The blonde didn't usually go outside in the first place.

Lapis wore her casual blue tee shirt and black pants, white sneakers on her feet. Peridot wore khakis and her green hoodie along with her own white sneakers with green highlights.

The couple held hands as they walked down the nature trail of the park, and despite her earlier protests, Peridot was having a fun time.

"The trees actually make the lighting seem really pretty." She said to Lapis, who was practically clinging to her arm.

"I know, right? I love this place. It's so pretty, especially when it rains."

"You're so water crazy. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a mermaid."

"Peri, I have legs."

"So did Ariel at some point in the movie."

Lapis laughed and nudged her girlfriend playfully. Peridot nudged back. Soon enough, they were in a pushing contest, being absolutely sure to do so only in the soft grass.

Being inside and not at all physical for most of her life, Peridot was quickly outdone. Lapis pushed the blonde, hooking a foot behind her leg so that she'd fall in the grass. Though Peridot grabbed onto Lapis' arm, pulling her to the ground as well.

The two girls tumbled in the grass, laughing the whole time until Lapis finally pinned Peridot to the ground. Peridot's glasses had fallen off in the process.

The blonde was able to stop laughing first. Looking up at her girlfriend, she couldn't help but admire her beauty. Even her laugh was beautiful. She watched as Lapis came down from her laughter, opening her eyes to see the look on Peridot's face. She pulled her hands from Peridot's shoulders, sitting up on her knees, almost straddling her girlfriend.

"Hey.. you okay, Peri? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

The change in Lapis' expression was beautiful as well. It was a wonder at how an expression of such joy and laughter could turn to that of worry.

Lapis was worried about her. This thought passed through Peridot's mind, and she immediately hated it. Lapis shouldn't need to worry. She shouldn't ever have to worry again.

Peridot sat up wrapped her arms around Lapis, pulling their faces together in a kiss.

Lapis was surprised by such an action, but the sheer passion and love behind it was too entrancing to care. The blue haired girl closed her eyes, allowing herself to lean against Peridot once more. The couple laid in the grass, their lips glued together.

This was pure bliss for the two girls. Occasionally, they would roll over, switching the roll of top and bottom. Peridot's fingers were twined in Lapis' hair, and vice versa. This went on for a few minutes, each girl enjoying the moment they created. That was, until they heard a man's rather crude voice.

"Hey lesbos! You wanna maybe take that somewhere far away from here? You know, for the kids?"

Lapis reluctantly pulled away from her girlfriend to look up at the source of the voice. It was a man with bleached white hair put up in spikes. He wore a dark purple jacket with grey pants and light brown leather shoes. His spiked teeth just screamed trouble for the girls lying in the grass. The man continued to speak, a toothy grin on his face, hands in his jacket pockets.

"Of course, you can always come back to my place. You ladies seem to be pretty lonely if you're going gay."

"Fuck off." Lapis spat out, climbing off of Peridot. Lapis stood, helping Peridot to her feet.

"Hey, I'm just offering you a good time. I'll have you screaming in no time."

"Pretty sure the only thing that'll make us scream is the sight of the warts you must have on your dick."

The man let out a low whistle. "Not a bad comeback, for a dyke. Tell you what, I'll even pay you. Fifty bucks each sound good?"

"What, trying to get two strange girls because you can't afford a high class hooker?"

The man laughed, walking forward. "You know what, you're the best challenge I've gotten since I got to this town. But your little girlfriend hasn't said a word. Maybe she'd like to join me?"

Lapis stood her ground, but Peridot took a step back. The blue haired girl looked back, worried for her girlfriend, but the man just smirked.

"Oh don't worry babe. I don't bite.. hard."

"But I do.." Peridot spoke to the man, an almost psychotic look in her eye. Lapis grew even more worried, placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"Peri?"

Peridot reached under her hoodie, hooking her fingers under the bandages wrapped around her. She ripped them from under her clothes, tossing them in front of the man.

"You know where I got those?" Peridot asked.

"Why should I care?"

"I got them for fighting off a group of gang rapists. I sent two of them to the hospital, but the other guy left in two separate body bags. If you really think you're entitled to fuck us because we're 'lonely', then you need to take that dick for a brain and go fuck yourself with it."

The man let out a chuckle, shaking his head. "A scrawny bitch like you? I don't think so.."

Lapis knew immediately what Peridot was trying to do.

"Babe, you said you didn't wanna talk about that anymore."

The man looked at Lapis, his eye twitching. She continued talking, her face riddled with concern for her girlfriend. Well, actual concern in case this guy didn't believe the little story, and fake concern for her supposed post traumatic stress.

"It's fine.." Peridot whispered, though her voice seemed to crack. She clutched at her head with her hand, her shoulders shaking as she repeated her words. "It's fine.. It's fine, it's fine it's fine."

The man was actually starting to get a little freaked out.

"H-hey, I was just messing with you, you know?" He brought his hands from his pockets, backing away from the couple. "I'm just.. gonna head home, okay?"

Lapis didn't pay attention to the man as he left. She was too busy pretending to console her girlfriend, gently rubbing her back.

"Peri, he's not them.. There's two of us, one of him, he wouldn't try anything."

"I know.." Peridot whispered, then proceeded to repeat these words as well. "I know, I know.."

Lapis sighed, turning to see that the man had already left. She just barely caught him turning the corner of a building across the street.

"Hey, he's gone."

Peridot looked up, taking her hand away from her head. She had actually made herself cry to bring out the full effect of her act. She smiled from ear to ear, sniffling. She could still feel her tears coming forth, even if they were just for show.

"I-I was convincing, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah you were.. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were really attacked like that." Lapis suddenly got a worried expression on her face. "You.. weren't really raped, were you?"

"No, I wasn't." Peridot wrapped her arms around her girlfriend in a hug, looking her in the eyes. "It was to get him off our backs, hun.. I'm fine, I promise."

"Good.. good." Lapis held her girlfriend tightly, resting her face in the crook of the blonde's neck. "That would be so terrible."

"What, afraid I wouldn't be able to give you my virginity?"

Lapis pulled away, pushing Peridot with a laugh. "Peri, be serious! How can you go from acting like that to joking like this?"

The blonde shrugged. "It's a gift. Maybe I should go into theater."

Lapis shook her head, bending down to pick up Peridot's glasses. She held them out for her girlfriend, who took them with a 'thanks'.

"Let's just go back.. it looks like it might rain."

Sure enough, dark clouds started to cover the skies. Peridot collected the bandages that she had previously thrown on the ground and tossed them in a nearby trash can. She didn't need them anymore.

Peridot and Lapis held hands as they began their walk back to the college.

"I fucking hate that guy." Peridot mumbled, earning an affectionate squeeze of the hand from Lapis.

"Yeah, he's a dick.. I think I know who he is, too."

"You're kidding." Peridot couldn't believe that her girlfriend would allow herself to converse with such a person as that man.

"Well, I've never met him until now, but Mrs. Quartz talked to me about him when she visited the dance room. Said he used to be her husband's manager. His name's Marty, I think."

"I don't care what his name is as long as I don't ever see him again.."

"That's what Mrs. Quartz's husband said to her. Marty's dead to him."

"I wonder why." Peridot said sarcastically.

The couple was finally reaching the courtyard of the school when the rain began to fall. But, instead of hurrying inside, Peridot held Lapis back.

The blue haired had a confused look on her face at Peridot's actions. She had to speak louder than normal, as the rain was quickly growing in a crescendo.

"Peri, we're getting soaked!" Of course, she didn't mind. She loved the rain, but she didn't want her girlfriend to be caught in it. To her surprise though, Peridot pulled her into another hug, speaking in her ear.

"Can we dance together? Like we did back then?"

Being caught in the rain with Lapis brought those wonderful memories back to her. Dancing with her best friend was the best feeling in the world to her, and was the act that helped her stop cutting in the first place. She wanted to feel that again. She wanted to feel that peace again.

Lapis wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, nodding.

"Of course, Peri."

And the two began to slow dance under the heavenly shower.

* * *

**Day 6. Thursday**

"So.. you two still haven't done it?"

Peridot let out a groan of annoyance at Jasper's questioning. She was tired of the athletic girl expecting her to have had sex already.

The two were walking together again. Peridot had just gotten out of her Advanced Trigonometry class.

"No, we haven't done it. Like I said, it might not even be for me."

"And like _I_ said, don't knock it till you try it." Jasper was munching on another one of her nutritional bars, a bottle of water in her other hand. Her next big game was tomorrow, and she had to be ready for it. Of course, she didn't believe anyone would be able to stand up to her brute strength.

"Whatever.. You gotta stop pestering me about it."

"Not till you can give me details, Peri."

"Okay, that's enough." Peridot stopped in her tracks, pointing a finger up at the taller girl. "Even if Lapis and I do have sex, I'm not gonna just tell you everything that happened. It'll be between me and her, not anyone else."

Jasper stayed quiet for a while, staring down at Peridot with narrowed eyes. The blonde girl stood firm, not believing that Jasper would even lay a finger on her. This silence lasted for quite a while until the athlete laughed.

"Yeah, you're right, nerd. You guys love each other, right? It's between you and her, like you said."

Peridot sighed, glad that she got her point across.

"..but you will tell me when you finally do it at least, right?"

"Oh my god."

"Jasper." Garnet's voice was heard from behind them. They both turned to see the stoic girl with a hand on her hips. Jasper narrowed her eyes once more.

"Well, nice talking to you, Peri.." The athlete walked forward, closing the distance between herself and Garnet. They began walking in the opposite direction, toward Garnet's room. Peridot had a feeling about what they were going to do.

Peridot made her way to her room, glad to at least finally be away from Jasper. That girl asked way too many questions.

She closed the door behind her, leaning against it with a deep breath. Today has been annoying so far. Yesterday, Lapis woke up with such enthusiasm, practically begging Peridot to go for a walk with her. And the day before that, Lapis had used her vibrator.

Did that little pink bullet really have such an effect on the blue haired girl? Peridot just couldn't believe that masturbation could be such a big stress reliever.

Peridot placed her book on her desk. All she had left to do today was her computer mechanics class, then tomorrow would start the weekend. There was a few hours until the class started.

_Fuck it._

Peridot reached under Lapis' bed, grabbing the small box that held the little pink vibrator inside. Was she really about to do this? Yes. Yes she was.

Peridot was tired of being told that it would be good for her. She might as well just get it over with and fuck herself. Literally.

She opened the box and removed the pink bullet from it. Placing the box on the floor, Peridot inspected the sex toy in her hands. Lapis always washed it so thoroughly. One could hardly even tell that it was used. Even the cord was folded so masterfully, as if brand new.

* * *

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content Ahead**

* * *

Sighing, Peridot set the toy down and began to remove her clothing. One by one, her clothes piled up on the floor, and she was completely nude.

The big question now is.. how does she start? Never having done this before, the blonde felt rather silly. What did Lapis tell her the first time she tried getting Peridot to masturbate?

Oh, right.. a towel.

She hurried to the bathroom, grabbing a towel from the bathroom closet. Peridot spread the fabric out over her bed.

Now what? Peridot supposed that she should get in bed. So she did.

She climbed in the bed, unraveling the sex toy from its wires. The remote to the buzzer was rather simple. It had four different settings, each a more intense vibration than the last. It felt so weird, vibrating in her fingers.

Turning the device off, she fell back on her bed in frustration, covering her eyes and glasses with an arm. This was so stupid. Peridot wasn't going to be able to masturbate. She just wasn't cut out for sexual stimulation.

The blonde just wasn't like Lapis.

Lapis, her girlfriend. God, was she beautiful. The way she loved nature, especially the ocean and the creatures within, was something to admire deeply. It was so compatible too, the way Lapis' hair was dyed to match her eyes color.

Lapis was definitely beautiful.. but she was sexy as well. The few times that Peridot saw her girlfriend nude always brought heat to the blonde's cheeks. The first time Lapis changed in front of Peridot, when she needed to come back into the room for a top and Lapis had to cover her breasts. Just the thought of seeing the blue haired girl in all of her glory brought a deep moan from Peridot's throat.

Wait.. she moaned?

Taking her arm from her eyes, the blonde looked down to find that her other hand had snaked its way between her legs.

She immediately pulled her hand away, but the quickness of her action caused some sort of liquid to fling on her face. It wasn't much, not at all, really, but..

Peridot wiped her cheek, examining the substance. It was.. sticky. She looked at her other hand and was surprised to find that her fingers were almost completely coated with the substance. Was this.. her excitement?

Slowly, Peridot put her hand back between her legs, her fingers barely grazing the folds of her vagina. Her breath hitched, surprised at how sensitive it was. Did she really not notice doing this to herself while she was thinking about Lapis?

Is this what Lapis felt when she masturbated?

It was so infuriating.. as if she were trapping herself in her own pleasure. But it was also intoxicating.

Peridot began to rub her vaginal lips once more, closing her eyes. Absentmindedly, with her other hand, she gripped one of her breasts. Even her chest was so sensitive.

Peridot's breath was quick now, almost ragged. Her glasses began to fog up as well, but she didn't care. This action, stroking between the folds of her vagina, no.. her cunt felt so good!

Peridot quickly, but carefully slid her middle finger into herself. Just the first knuckle. Anything further than that hurt. But even this little insertion, just barely a finger, caused Peridot to arch her back.

In and out of her now dripping pussy went just the tip of her finger. Lapis and Jasper were right.. this felt fucking amazing!

A quick thought passed through her mind, and while her fingers worked on her sopping cunt, Peridot searched for the pink bullet vibrator with her other hand.

Peridot found the device, and with a shaky hand, put it on the first setting.

If just her fingers felt so good to her.. then this thing, which Lapis praised so highly..

Slowly, anxiously, Peridot brought the buzzing device down her body, teasing herself. The vibrations from the toy felt as if they were being transferred through her entire body, most likely due to how sensitive she felt.

Closer and closer, the buzzing neared her crotch. Hotter and hotter Peridot felt, desperate for.. for something! What did she want? She didn't know, but she needed it, she needed it now!

And finally, the joy buzzer came into contact with her clit.

Peridot gasped, thrashed, and squirmed under the toy. Her body convulsed heavily in her first ever orgasm, her juices spilling out onto the towel under her. The blonde couldn't think, she had no idea what was going on around her. All she could do was ride out this incredible feeling!

As quickly as it came, it seemed to stop.

Peridot breathed deeply, her hands clutching to herself with the toy now buzzing lightly on the towel between her legs, covered in her juices. Her eyes were wide open, but she couldn't see a thing passed her glasses.

She sat up slowly in her bed, backing away from the now soaked towel and the still buzzing toy on top of it. It feels so.. surreal now that the moment had passed. But Peridot can still feel it. It was weak, and growing weaker, but that feeling in her groin was still there, almost illuminating her. Was this what they called afterglow?

* * *

**It's Safe to Look Now  
**

* * *

Peridot was brought from her thoughts when she heard the door open. She had forgotten to lock it!

Her first action was to cover herself, an arm over her breasts and a hand covering her crotch. Her glasses were still fogged, but they were slowly becoming more clear.

Just as quickly as the door opened, it closed. Did the person who opened it leave? No.. She could hear footsteps. The person walked inside before closing the door.

"Um.. do you mind?" Peridot said, still not completely sure who entered the room.

"Nah, I don't mind."

Peridot knew who it was by the voice. For a second, she was relieved. At least it was her. The blonde's glasses were lifted from her face, and Peridot saw a smirking Lapis.

"Hey Peri. Have fun?"

* * *

**Day 7. Friday**

Lapis and Peridot were cuddled up together in the blue haired girl's bed. Though they were in the same bed, they were clothed. They didn't have sex.

"I'm sorry again." Peridot whispered, her face burrowed in her girlfriend's neck. Lapis giggled, gently stroking the blonde's back.

"I said don't worry about it. You were pretty worn out yesterday. Hell, I'm surprised you even did it."

"Me too.. It felt so good when I did though. Like.." Peridot paused, trying to put the feeling into words. "Like my body was on fire. Especially my vagina. But after everything, I felt so.. cool. Like I jumped in a pool after being set aflame."

"That's an orgasm, genius." Lapis teased, earning a scowl from her girlfriend.

"I know what it was. I just never expected it to feel so amazing."

Lapis had to agree. Sighing, she wrapped her arms more tightly around her girlfriend. They had decided to just spend the day in each others arms, except for food and bathroom breaks. Just being here.. alone together, with absent minded conversation. It was nice.

But.. Lapis still had one thing on her mind. She found this situation to be a good time to bring it up.

"Hey Peri?"

Peridot let out a noise against Lapis' neck, indicating that she heard her girlfriend.

"Promise me you'll never cut yourself again."

Peridot propped herself up on her arms, looking Lapis in the eyes.

"Why this all of a sudden?"

"Because you're mine."

This answer was so simple. Just three little words. But the impact behind them was enormous. Peridot smiled, nodding.

"I promise."

Lapis smiled as well, pulling Peridot back down against her.

Peridot knew that her words were true. She would never touch a blade again. It was odd, really, that three words could make the blonde girl feel so.. relaxed. Peaceful, even. But it was also logical.

If Peridot ever defaced her own skin again, it would be a destruction of property. She belonged to Lapis, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again, so much for taking the time to read and finish my story. It means so much to me that "Destruction of Property" could gain as much popularity as it has. I hope I can entertain you all just as well in the future.


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